Things I don't understand...

It looks like the Detroit Red Wings just signed forward Henrik Zetterberg to a 12 year, $72 million contract. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the NHL, but what is up with teams signing these retardedly long contracts? 12 years, are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure that NHL contracts are GUARANTEED contracts so if he suffers a career ending injury next week, Detroit is still on the hook for all $72 million. Hey, it might work out in the long run, but as a GM, why even take that risk? I mean, obviously this is fantastic for the player, but it's just not a logical thing to do for an organization. This was almost as stupid as the NY Islanders signing goalie Rick DiPietro to a 15 YEAR contract a few years ago. Naturally, DiPietro has been shut down for the remainder of this season because of lingering knee problems from 2 SURGERIES IN 4 MONTHS. If this guy never comes back to full health and mobility, the Islanders will look really dumb. Almost as dumb as Big Q with his lock of the day picks haha.

Apparently, Kobe Bryant jerseys are the #1 selling NBA jerseys. Kevin Garnett is #2. This doesn't surprise me because everyone who bought a Kevin Garnett jersey also bought a Kobe Bryant jersey so they could wipe their asses with it or burn it. Seriously, the only people outside of California that are purchasing Kobe Bryant jerseys gotta be doing it as some sort of joke, right? I can see people from Denver buying them just so they can have an excuse when they rape someone. I've already discussed why the Boston fan faithful would do it.

Kobe Bryant's favorite song: "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

I mean, c'mon now. This guy clearly raped that girl in Denver while he was "rehabbing" and somehow he got away with it. It appears that the same "guy" that killed OJ's wife was also the same "guy" who raped that girl in Denver. Yup, you heard it here first. Kobe Bryant killed Nicole Brown Simpson. What's worse than the fact that he got away with rape is the fact that his bimbo wife forgave him after he bought her a $4 million ring to patch things up. What a stupid fuckin materialistic whorebag she is and she ought to be ashamed of herself.

Let's move on to another topic: obesity in America. What the fuck is going on here? How are there so many damn fat people in this country? Do people not understand portion control, exercise, or the ability to not look disgusting? It's completely out of hand. I'm kind of glad that we're in a recession now so that all the fat asses in this world are forced to think twice about how much they will consume. Hey, guess what? If you don't eat as much, it won't cost as much. This isn't rocket science. Stop being fat. It all stems from laziness. And don't come at me with the "it's in some people's genes to be this way" line. That's a load of crap. Anyone has the ability to keep their body looking presentable. It just takes a little hard work and some discipline.


Moral of the story: obese people suck. They get in the way of everything and everybody. I'm proposing that we have a NATIONWIDE "Biggest Loser" contest, and whoever is still obese when the competition ends will be executed.