The last 5 days of my life, in timeline form

Friday - Bachelor Party

• 6:30PM - Greatest Bar (beer)
• 7:30PM - Celtics Game in luxury suite 634 (more beer)
• 10:00PM - Party Bus (even more beer and funny printout of AIM conversation)
• 11:00PM - Foxy Lady (more beer, plus tits and ass)

This looks exactly like the chick I got a lap dance from

Total damage: around $300.00, 30+ beers, and I smelled like strippers

Saturday - FBI stuff and Danny's bday

• 9:00AM - FBI Citizen Response Team seminar (still drunk from the night before)
• 12:00PM - grabbed food at Royal Palace (formerly Cindy's Planet)
• 1:00PM - afternoon siesta (aka passed the fuck out)
• 4:00PM - woke up, watched basketball, and ate dinner
• 8:00PM - started drinking again and watched World Baseball Classic
• 10:15PM - headed to Wonderbar for my cousin Danny's birthday celebration
• 2:00AM - New Golden Gate restaurant for late night eating
• 3:00AM - started tossing beers off of street signs in Chinatown due to drunkenness
• 3:15AM - had to drop a massive deuce, ran into the bathroom without closing the door, then this happened

When you gotta go, you gotta go...

Total damage: around $100.00, 10-15 drinks, and I smelled like Chinese food and ass

Sunday - St. Patty's Day Parade

• 9:00AM - got rudely awakened by my roommate and Big Wil/Anne to start drinking (almost punched Jon in the face)
• 10:00AM - finally rolled out of bed and cracked first beer
• 11:30AM - headed to Southie for drinkfest #1
• 1:00PM - headed to another place in Southie for drinkfest #2
• 4:00PM - ordered pizzas, ate my face off, then started to doze off on a couch
• 6:00PM - walked around for half an hour trying to find a cab back home
• 7:00PM - arrived, not at home, but at the Glass Slipper (gentlemen's club, WHAT A SURPRISE)
• 11:00PM - left the Glass Slipper, went to 7-11 and bought a gigantic vitamin water
• 11:30PM - got home and for some reason I watched the movie "Hitch" until 1AM and then passed out

read this article. hilarious!

Total damage: around $200.00, 20-25 drinks, and I smelled like shit (after someone farted on it)

Monday - work!

• 8:30AM - stumbled into work
• 5:00PM - stumbled out of work, went to the gym
• 6:30PM - met my roommate Jon at Penang for a "we're fuckin dehydrated, so we need something soupy" dinner.
• 7:30PM - got home, formulated snowboard plans for Tuesday with Scuba man
• 9-10PM - 24

I can't wait to kill Jon Voight in the season finale.

Total damage: around $10.00, 10-15 drinks (of water or tea), and I smelled half decent for once

Tuesday - Waterville Valley

• 6:00AM - woke up and called Steve-O to find out when we were leaving, went back to sleep
• 7:00AM - woke up again, made breakfast, got my gear in order
• 8:00AM - got picked up, headed to the mountain while drinking Monster energy drink
• 10:00AM - arrived at Waterville Valley, got suited up, picked up lift tickets, and hit up the ski lift
• 10:30AM - got on a snowboard for the second time ever (first time was a brief 1 hour trial where I got pissed off and went back to skis. this happened at a place called "Crotched" Mountain. no joke). went down a green trail, fell a bunch of times, but worked on some technique that Steve-O was teaching me
• 12:00PM - started to get the hang of it, minimized the amount of major face plants, even tried (unsuccessfully) going off a couple of jumps
• 1:30PM - broke for lunch
• 2:00PM - hit up the slopes again, made it 3/4 of the way down without falling, then took a huge spill and would've had a concussion if I didn't have a helmet on. This was one of those "face plant to 3 full body rotations to sliding 100 yards down the mountain" type falls
• 3:30PM - after a few more runs, was feeling relatively comfortable "carving" so I decided to hit a jump AND LANDED IT. I don't think you all know this, but I am fucking awesome. It took me basically 3-4 hours to learn how to carve and land jumps, whereas most of you pussies go months before you have enough balls enough to go off a jump.
• 4:30PM - left the mountain
• 6:30PM - arrived back in Boston, went to eat at Pho Hua
• 7:30PM - invaded the Cho Family Dinner at Penang (since I saw them eating there as I was walking home)
• 8:00PM - came home, washed up, watched a little tv and went to bed

I'm doing this next time.

Total damage: around $60.00, 5-10 mouthfuls of snow/ice, and roses really smell like poo poo