USA! USA! USA!

Well it looks like another 4th of July and another championship for the King of Deep Throat, Joey Chestnut. This guy is clearly the new face of competitive eating. Unfortunately, I was unable to watch this event live like I did last year, but apparently he consumed 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes (they switched the competition from 12 minutes to 10 minutes last year). If you do the math, that's 6.8 hot dogs per minute. Absolutely disgusting, but also absolutely amazing, and absolutely awesome. Kobayashi is now becoming an after thought. After years of dominance in the world of competitive eating, Kobayashi is now slowly fading into oblivion with every defeat at the hands of Mr. Chestnut. From the International Federation of Competitive Eating website:

Joey rose to lofty heights in record time, from winning Rookie of the Year for 2005 to defeating the great Kobayashi in the 2007 and 2008 Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contests and the 2008 Krystal Square Off V World Hamburger Eating Championship.

His career consists of the 2005-2008 seasons, in which he won the asparagus title four times, set an astonishing new world record of 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes, five times beat Kobayashi, four times won the Chinook Winds rib-eating championship, dominated nearly every chicken wing competition he attempted, and most recently did the unthinkable by eating 103 Krystal hamburgers in only 8 minutes.

Joey Chestnut is truly an American hero and a national treasure.

You know, it's really funny that we, as a society, celebrate competitive eaters as "American heroes" and "national treasures" but if you think about it, it does make sense. We technically are the fattest country in the world. But that's neither here nor there. It's time to celebrate a truly great and astonishing feat. 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Here's to you Joey Chestnut! I've adapted the "Proud To Be An American" song into my own version:

I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free
We eat every day and every night
And it makes us poo and pee

I'm proud to be an American
Our country is number one
We win silly competitions
Like eating hot dogs and buns

And I gladly stand up
Next to you and defend her still today
Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God bless the U-S-A!

For those of you looking for a recap of the weekend fiasco known as "Jim and Teresa's Wedding", I will be uploading a few pics and writing a summary either later on today or tomorrow morning. I was too tired last night and today I'm going to the beach with Person A.