I Hate the Winter

Most people know that I fuckin hate the winter. If you didn't know that, well now you do. Other than our sports teams, there is nothing good about winter in the New England area. It's cold, there are germs floating around all over the place, snow ruins peoples' plans, it gets dark outside really early, and Christmas sucks. Yes, you can call me the Grinch.

Here's a quick update of the last 5 days of my stupid life:

• Wednesday - I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like a pile of crap. I already know that I AM a pile of crap, but usually I don't feel like it. Well I'd like to thank either my roommate Jon or my buddy Mark (who I went to the Celtics game with) for getting me sick. I'd also like to thank myself for drinking my body into submission the previous weekend (see previous blog entry for details). This definitely weakened my immune system and made it susceptible to sickness. So anyway, I had to call in sick from work. I basically had every symptom from the Nyquil bottle. The worst part about it was the fact that my nose was more stuffed than a hooker's vagina on a Friday night (or more stuffed than a "Thanksgiving turkey" for all you PG-13 people). So naturally, I spent the entire day getting rest, drinking vitamin C, and taking medicine, which coincidentally, are things I probably should have been doing to AVOID getting sick to begin with. Did I mention the fact that I am an idiot? Oh wait, yeah, I already did that multiple times in this blog.
  
  
• Thursday - I woke up Thursday and still felt like crap, but decided to go to work because I didn't want to be the only person who felt like crap (read: I was trying to get everyone else sick so they could feel my misery). Made it through the workday without any incidents, went to the gym after work, then watched the Jaguars blow a 14-0 lead against the Colts. I wasn't really surprised that the Colts came back because they shouldn't have let a shitty team like the Jags take a two touchdown lead anyway. This pissed me off though for two reasons: 1) When you see a team jump out to a 14-0 lead, you do have a glimmer of hope that they might actually win the game, and 2) I fuckin hate Peyton Manning. I'll admit, the guy is a great quarterback, but he's a tool. Did you see him hiding his face as the Jags were driving down the field at the end of the game? And then did you see him cheering like a little school girl when they sacked Garrard to end the game? You would never see Tom Brady acting like a bitch. If the same situation played out for the Patriots with Brady at the helm, Brady would watch the other team drive down the field (obviously with some nervousness) and when the Patriots sealed the win, he would just raise his arm stoically like the champ that he is. That's the difference between a 3-time Super Bowl champ and a bitch who accidentally won one Super Bowl. More Manning-hate to come later in this blog...
  
  
• Friday - Thanks to Mother Nature, Governor Patrick (or "Free 'Em All Deval" as JM likes to call him) decided to give all non-essential state employees the day off from work. Giddy up! If you aren't sure what a non-essential state employee is, just look it up in the dictionary. You'll see a picture of me. No, basically, the best way to explain it is to explain what "essential" state employees are. Those are people who work in hospitals, state/local police and firefighters, and other emergency personnel. I don't fall into any of those categories, thus, I was in my underwear all day Friday. The snow was pretty bad, once it actually started. It was about 1PM when I looked outside and the snow still hadn't started falling. I was thinking how funny it would've been if the storm didn't even happen. But then the storm happened, and boy did it happen. I haven't seen it snow for more than 2 days straight in a long time. This was good and bad. It was bad because it ruined my chances of going out this weekend and made me have cabin fever at home. But it was good because I was able to rest up, get hydrated for once, and most importantly, NOT DRINK ALCOHOL THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND. Yup, that's right. I haven't had any alcohol in a week. New world record!
  
  
• Saturday - I woke up Saturday and my stuffy nose was actually feeling a little bit better. I felt like I was starting to get a sore throat, however, so my roommate and I decided to go get some wonton noodle soup for brunch. We trekked through the snow and decided to try out the Best Cafe (located right underneath China Pearl on Tyler Street). This place is sweet. They give you a large amount of food and it's cheap. This is our new go-to brunch spot (well, until they raise the prices and force us to go somewhere else). Drinking the broth from the soup helped out my sore throat so it was mission accomplished. Headed back to the condo and watched college football and college basketball for the rest of the afternoon. At 5PM, I decided to MAN-UP and go to the gym. Jon didn't want to go because he developed a case of the hives (or HIV, or genital herpes, or something along those lines that he needed to take care of) so he stayed home. Needless to say, the gym was pretty empty. I drove to the Boston Sports Club (BSC) in Watertown. I didn't go to the BSC in the South End because I didn't feel like having gay guys undress me with their eyes while I was trying to work out. So I did my workout, which consisted of full body lifting, 20 minutes of swimming, and then 30 minutes in the sauna followed by a shower. I felt good after. Went to the supermarket on the way home to pick up some stuff because our fridge was starting to look like the Bundy fridge in "Married with Children". I got home in time to eat dinner and then turn on the Ravens/Cowboys game. Naturally, I was cheering for the Cowboys since the Patriots needed the Ravens to lose so we'd have a better chance of making the playoffs. Unfortunately, Tony Romo sucks dick, and so does Ken Hamlin. How do you allow 2 touchdown runs of over 70 yards in the final 4 minutes WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE GONNA RUN THE BALL??? I can't even explain how stupid that was, so I'm not going to.
  
  
• Sunday - We went back to Best Cafe for brunch because that place is awesome. We ordered the sampan congee (or as we say in Chinese: "tan jai jook"), fried turnip cake (or as we say in Chinese: "law bahk go"), and for some reason Jon wanted crab rangoons (or as we say in Chinese: "crab rangoons"). Made it back home in time to drop a massive deuce and get ready for Sunday's slate of NFL games. It was interesting because we were cheering for the Patriots to win (obviously) and for the Dolphins and Jets to lose. KC had the Dolphins on the ropes and somehow fucked it up, but fortunately the Jets found a way to lose to the Seahawks. The Patriots took care of business, which was good and bad. Good because if we win next week against Buffalo, and either the Jets beat Dolphins or the Ravens lose, then we're in the playoffs. Bad because I FUCKIN STARTED KURT WARNER AND NEIL RACKERS ON MY FANTASY TEAM FOR THE FANTASY FUCKIN CHAMPIONSHIP!
  
  I can't even begin to explain how pissed off I am at my fantasy team. Kurt Warner, Neil Rackers, and Andre Johnson (3 of my studs) combined for a total of THREE fantasy points. That is not a misprint. THREE TOTAL POINTS. They scored ONE point each. I was thinking about this last night and was like "well, I should've started someone else because of the conditions", but come to think of it, no way. Matt Cassel had no problems whatsoever with the conditions, throwing for 345 yards and 3 touchdowns. It didn't help that the Cardinals decided to replace Warner with Matt Leinart in the 3rd quarter, effectively putting the tombstone on my fantasy grave. I hate my life. I have Donald Driver going for me tonight and my opponent has Greg Jennings. I am losing 118-39. This could be the worst defeat in the history of fantasy sports championships. My team is almost getting TRIPLED in points. If that happens, you've heard it (or read it) here first: I WILL RETIRE FROM FANTASY SPORTS.
  
  
  
  Please click on the image if you want to laugh at me.
  
  
  Please let it be known that my retirement will most likely be like a Michael Jordan, Jay-Z type retirement where I actually retire and then come back somehow "rejuvenated".
  
  So the Giants/Panthers game was on last night and I had high hopes for a Panthers win, not just because I am a huge Steve Smith fan, but because I FUCKIN HATE ELI MANNING TOO. Let's just make it clear: I hate the entire Manning family. They give hope to all cry babies in this world and that is not a good thing. As expected, somehow the Panthers blew a 21-10 lead when all they had to do was keep running the ball. No defense can stop the DeAngelo Williams/Jonathan Stewart combo. It's impossible. Good thing I fell asleep before the Giants won in overtime or I would've had a hissyfit. Yes, grown men can have hissyfits. Oh, and I can too.
  

Other news:

• Celtics and Bruins keep chugging along. Get well soon to Big Baby who got into a car accident on the way to the Celtics game, as well as Patrice Bergeron who suffered ANOTHER concussion.
• The Red Sox, rightfully so, made a stand against evil agent Scott Boras in the Mark Texeira sweepstakes. I had a feeling he was trying to make us bid against ourselves. Apparently John Henry thinks so as well. I'm also glad the Angels removed themselves from that debacle as well.
• I'm going to be at The Harp tomorrow night (Tuesday) for a mini high school reunion. Some folks who now live on the West Coast are going to be back in town for the Holidays so it'll be good to catch up with old friends.
• I'll do a post on the results of the superpower poll, along with a possibly cynical Merry Xmas theme.

Stay tuned...