Starbury to Boston? Tiger Woods is black! I mean back.

Well, unless there's a dramatic change, it looks like Stephon Marbury is going to be joining the Celtics for the stretch run. KG and Starbury back together again, giddy up. Everyone who says that he's going to be a cancer, that he won't try, or that's he's a horrible fit can just shut their mouths. My buddy Mark lays it out best:

Here's the difference between Knick Marbury and Celtic Marbury:

• The Knicks were stuck with him because of his contract. The Celtics will be paying him vet minimum.
• The Knicks were asking him to be the main man. The Celtics are asking him to be the sixth man.
• On the Knicks, Marbury had to go up against frontline players. On the Celtics, he'll be going against second stringers most of the time.
• On the Knicks, he was the first option. When he plays with the starters, on the Celtics he'll be the fourth option.
• He can't hurt the Celtics. If he's not an eagle scout, they just cut him.
• Plus he has all the motivation in the world to prove everyone wrong.
  

I couldn't have said it any better. Listen, it's pretty clear here. If he fucks up or acts like a complete douche bag, we release him. Simple as that. Plus, we're basically only going to be paying him like $1.3 million or something cheap, so there's limited to no risk here. He's also playing for a contract next year so he better play well or his NBA career is over. This is similar to when we picked up Corey Dillon and Randy Moss for the Patriots. There's a good veteran presence in the locker room and they're not tied to a big contract. Anyone who is apprehensive or appauled by this move needs to think about it a little more. If you were a member of that Knicks team that had to deal with Isaiah Thomas for all of those years, along with shitbags for teammates, you'd probably go crazy too. Isn't this pretty damn similar to the situations of Dillon and Moss?

I mean, Rondo is nasty, but it's pretty clear that we need depth at our point guard position. Having Eddie House or Gabe Pruitt handling the ball in crunch time (in case Rondo is hurt or fouled out) is unacceptable. Eddie House is a pure shooter and Pruitt is still trying to learn the ropes. Again, what's the downside of signing Marbury? If he sucks, we release him, and we're in the same situation as before. If he's good, he improves our team.


In other news, Tiger Woods makes his return today at the Accenture Match Play Championship. After spending the last 7 months shaving, having sex with his wife, and oh yeah, recovering from knee surgery, it appears that the King is back to reclaim his throne. Is there any doubt that he's going to win at least 2 majors this year? I wouldn't even be surprised if he won every one. All the reports indicate that his knee, and entire body, is much stronger and more stable than before. That's what happens when you do physical therapy. You almost accidentally get your body in tip top shape. This guy must be having crazy sex with his wife Elin nowadays. Now I'm not saying that Tiger is going to go out and win this event because surely there's some rust, but he's going to become a bigger force than he was before. You know who else is going to do that? You got that right, Superman himself, Mister Tom Brady.



Breaking news: Phil Mickelson just peed his pants.

More breaking news: Peyton Manning just peed his pants.

Even more breaking news: I just peed my pants.