The Redskins Reload, and other random shit

Congratulations Albert

Well, it looks like the Redskins made a big splash by not only re-signing DeAngelo Hall to a 6 year, $54 million deal, but they also just inked Albert Haynesworth to a 7 year, $100 million deal that could escalate to $115 million with performance. Now this is great for their defense. Not because they're gonna be better, but because they now have 2 knuckleheads signed for at least the next 6 years for dumb money. The other problem is, their offense still sucks. They were the 5th worst offense in terms of points scored last year, 7th worst in 3rd down completion percentage, and mediocre in every other category except 4th down completion percentage. This is where I found the Washington Redskins stats. And you know what that means. If you're consistently going for it on 4th down, you are probably trailing a lot of games. It also doesn't help that they are in the toughest division in football, the NFC East. They need a proven quarterback at the helm to get this offense going, and Jason Campbell is not the answer. I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why I'm writing about the Redskins. Well, it's because a have a lot of friends in the DC/VA/MD area and I'd like to welcome them all by saying "you guys need some offense or you're fucked!"

Sorry KC fans, he's staying with the Skins

In other news, our friend Manny Ramirez and Darth Boras just rejected another offer by the Dodgers. It's so funny how the Dodgers are bidding against themselves here. I mean, c'mon, there can't be any other team looking to sign him. Spring training has already started and no one other than the Dodgers has that much expendable cash, and a hole in left field, to justify signing this guy. Boras is doing his typical routine of holding a team hostage, waiting until the 11th hour and having the team make a desperate offer at the last possible moment. The offer was pretty damn good too: $25 million for this year, and a player option of $20 million for next year. I mean, do Manny and Boras think that he should be the highest paid player in baseball?

I have a theory. Manny was listening to the song "Arab Money" and thought they were saying "A-Rod Money" and he immediately decided that he wasn't going to settle for anything less per year. That's the story and I'm sticking to it.




Reports are indicating that Tom Brady and Giselle (pronounced Jizz-el) got married. A famous athlete marrying a famous supermodel. Wow, what a match made in heaven. This is how it's supposed to work. Not like this fuckin shit. I'm going to pretend like that didn't even happen. Ridiculous. Anyway, back to Tom and Giselle. I can't believe he hits this every night:

Tom Brady, I salute you

Enough talking about who's now off the market, let's talk about who's back on the market. Yup, Megan Fox is now single ladies and gentlemen. She finally ditched that tool from 90210. According to reports, she's been on the lookout for a stud by the name of Andrew Chan. Hey Megan, if you're reading, I'm right here baby. Skeet skeet skeet!

I'm single!

One last thing. Go and read my buddy JM's blog. HILARIOUS. Probably even better than mine...