NYC Recap

So I made it back from NYC in one piece. Here's an update from when I left off in my previous post:

Friday: got off the bus at around 5:30ish on the corner of 34th and 8th, which means that I spent 5 hours on the bus getting to New York. I guess it wasn't that bad considering I had internet and DVDs to watch throughout the duration of the trip. However, it was pretty annoying because we were actually on 35th and 7th at 5:00 and it took a half hour to go 2 blocks through the friggin traffic. I was starting to get mad until I realized that I was the idiot who decided to travel on a Friday during rush hour.

Bolt Bus is pretty cool.

So I got out of the bus, stretched out a bit, then called my buddy Rosa who wanted me to meet up with her at the Gershwin Theater (or is it "Theatre"?) to see if we could get tickets for the Broadway show "Wicked" that was showing at 8pm. Apparently, 2 hours before every Broadway show, they have this random lottery where you basically put your name in a hat and they draw about 10-15 lucky winners who can purchase up to 2 tickets for front row tickets for $25 each. After walking 18 blocks, I finally made it there and we put our names down and waited for the 6pm drawing. Naturally, we won because I am awesome and I bring luck everywhere I go.

We had 2 hours to burn, and I was hungry as hell, so we ended up going to this famous cart on 53rd and 6th that serves lamb or chicken (or both) over rice with this creamy white sauce (not man juice) and hot sauce if you want it (of course I got it).

Apparently, this is called the "Halal Cart"

I had to drop off my shit, so we brought the food back to Rosa's office (she works for HBO as an assistant director for the Real Sex series) and ate our faces off until it was time to go back to the theater for the show.

I'm not gonna lie. I thoroughly enjoyed the Broadway show "Wicked". It was about the untold relationship between Glinda the Good Witch and Elphaba aka the Wicked Witch of the West. Basically, it's sorta like a prequel to the Wizard of Oz with an interesting spin. I'm not going to ruin it for people by writing an in-depth review so I'll just say that the acting and singing was probably the best I've ever seen, or ever will see, and it was funny as hell. Please refrain from calling me gay until you at least give the show a try. I'm telling you, it's fuckin tight.

Alright, this picture looks kinda gay, but I'm telling you, it was a dope show!

After the show, we decided to meet up with D Tang and his black French friends for some soul food at this place called Dallas BBQ. Yes, you read that correctly. I don't know many French people, and I know even less black French people, but they were cool as hell, even though there were communication barriers. You know, it's funny how you basically have to throw away all big words from your vocabulary when you try to converse with people who barely know any English. This worked well for me because I don't have a good vocabulary to begin with. Talking to me is like talking to a 5th grader anyway.

So we ordered a bunch of chicken (naturally) and drinks and filled our stomachs with as much grease as possible. Oh, one other thing. One of the French guys I met, Edwin, was there with his wife Joanna and their 4 month old baby girl. What a cute little kid. I kept looking at the baby just because little kids (and animals) can amuse me for hours. What amused me even more was the fact that the baby looked hungry (or in this case, thirsty), so Joanna decided to whip out her tit and start breastfeeding the baby right at the table. Apparently this is normal in France, but I guess I was sort of surprised because she made no effort to conceal her ta-tas at all. So one second I'm sitting there thinking "wow, that's such a cute baby" and the next second I'm sitting there thinking "wow, I can see 90% of some girl's tit right now". Let's just say it was an interesting meal.

They don't use these in France.

Saturday: woke up at Rosa's place in Harlem and decided to hit the gym with D Tang. I love the fact that my Boston Sports Club membership works at New York Sports Club (as well as DC and Philly). Had a good workout then we decided to go eat breakfast. We saw a Dunkin Donuts, but decided that we'd rather try a local joint to get some of that Harlem flavor. We ended up eating at this place called Jumbo Burger, that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner. So we ordered two breakfast sandwiches, expecting it to take like 5 minutes to make. I mean, all it was was bread, fried eggs, and turkey sausage links. Should be done in no time, right? Yeah, it took about 20 minutes for them to make. I don't even know how that's possible but it happened. At least it tasted good though.

Later on in the afternoon, we met up with D Tang's friends and hit up some shops on 125th street. Not much to talk about there, just people buying shit. Same thing goes for Union Square and the farmer's market we hit up. I did end up buying a new wallet though, which is something to note considering my old wallet was a complete piece of shit. There were rips and holes all over it. Homeless people had better wallets than I did. Now they don't. Too bad homeless people.

That night, we met up with my buddy Leo and decided to hit up a comedy show at this place called Laugh Lounge. Dude, the show was off the hook. I absolutely love comedy shows. They definitely set you up for a good evening because you're drinking and laughing at funny shit for 2 hours.

Grant Cooper, the host, was funny as hell

The show started off with this guy named Grant Cooper, who was the host. Basically, he did a little piece before every featured comedian came on stage. This guy was pretty damn hilarious and talked about a lot of things that people from New York can relate to (like how all the white people get off the subway at 96th street because after that it turns into Harlem). The first act was this chick named Laurie Kilmartin. She had actually performed on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show as well as Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. She really engaged the crowd in her performance and was tooling on some couple from Bedstye for awhile which was great. One of the best lines was when she said that she hasn't lost any weight since her baby 8 months ago and then mentioned that she had an abortion hahaha. So filthy, yet so funny at the same time.

The next guy was Greer Barnes who was actually in a few skits on the Chappelle Show. This guy was completely stoned during his entire act, so his thoughts were going all over the place, but it couldn't be any funnier. At one point he was referring to random thoughts he was having and just started laughing because he was thinking about white chicks dating chimpanzees. I dunno, you had to be there to appreciate how funny he was.

The third guy was some white dude who was not funny at all. He tried to pull a black joke 2 minutes into his act that didn't draw any laughs and from then on it was just a tail spin for the guy. I actually felt bad for him for 2 seconds, until I realized I had been drinking, and then just started laughing at him. Hey, this is good for him because it'll make him come back with better material (or quit comedy altogether).

The last comic was Donnell Rawlings aka Ashy Larry from the Chappelle Show. At this point, my night becomes a little hazy but all I remember was that he was hilarious. All I could think about while he was performing was him going "I'm rich, bitch!!" and tooting the horn of his truck, like he did on the Chappelle Show.

He's a funny dude.

The rest of the night consisted of going to bars and drinking our faces off, then ending up in K-Town drinking soju and eating french fries for some reason.

Sunday: woke up with a hangover, dropped a bunch of deuces, then we made our way to Penn Station area to eat before bounce time. I hit up the dollar menu at Wendy's, then proceeded to shit it all out in the Wendy's bathroom. For those of you who don't know, I shit frequently. I peaced out, hopped on the bus at 1Pm and made my way back to Boston at 5:30ish in the pouring rain. Good thing I didn't have an umbrella so I walked home and got completely drenched. Naturally, I am beginning to get sick today.

Conclusion: All in all, it was a great trip. It was nice seeing old faces and catching a Broadway show and a comedy club show, which are things I don't typically do here in Boston. I might start doing them now because I think they are more fun than going to bars and trying to hit on unsuspecting women, as well as wasting a shitload of money. Thank you to Rosa for letting me stay at her place, big ups to D Tang for coming out, and what up dogg to Leo for joining us for Saturday evening's festivities.

Other notes

• Breastfeeding happened again on Saturday afternoon at this famous lunch place called Amy Ruth's. It's very similar to a Roscoe's in that they have chicken & waffles and a bunch of other soul food items. I had jerk chicken with cheesy grits and candied yams. Mmm mmm mmm!
• Rosa is not an assistant director for Real Sex. She does work for HBO, but as an accountant.
• I would have sex with the Wicked Witch of the West
• I'm going to start paying attention to who's coming to town for comedy shows at the Wilbur Theater
• I'm going to start paying attention to Broadway shows coming to Boston as well
• I took 9 shits during my time in New York
• New York is too big

Next up: San Francisco. I'll be there in 9 days. Giddy up!