Locks of the Day

So Amit wants me to play more relevant games - not sure how since most of my games are either ACC (conference of the Superfans) and Big Ten (home to my alma mater) or ranked teams, but I'll give it a shot. Missed most of the early games but there's still plenty of college hoops left. Got three games for you guys today.

I realize Texas is the #12 team in the country but there's no way they should be laying 10 even at home to KState. KState had a pretty rough start to conference play but that should be expect, they have an extremely young team. I expect them to play competitive ball from here on out, including against #12 Texas.

Got a little Big Ten action in Northwestern. I realize I'm probably the only one that cares about Big Ten and actually watches most of the games on BTN but Northwestern is extremely fun to watch/gamble on. They have extremely tall white goofy guys that look like they have no business playing D1 hoops but they continue to be monsters ATS. Laying 1 at home is a no brainer against a struggling Wisky team.

And the last one is for Frank...BC BABY!!!! lay the 3.5 points.

Q Lock of the day #1: Kstate +10
Q Lock of the day #2: Northwestern -1
Q Lock of the day #3: BC -3.5

Sox re-sign Varitek

The Red Sox have officially re-signed Jason Varitek. Thank God. It looks like it's a 1 year, $5 million contract with a team option for a second year at $5 million, and a player option of $3 million for a second year, with incentives that can bring the total to $5 million. Basically, what this means is that after this season ends, if the Red Sox want to keep him, they'll just exercise the team option for 2010 and he'll earn $5 million the following season. If he sucks it up this season, the Red Sox can decline to pick up the team option, but Varitek can decide to play for the Sox in 2010 (player option) for a base salary of $3 million. He will then earn additional incentives for number of games played. Looks like a win-win for the Sox. We lock our backstop down for another year (maybe 2), and keep our pitching staff happy and comfortable. He might be an auto-out on offense, but pitching wins championships right?

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber...

I'd like to congratulate Big Q for not only losing his 4th consecutive "Lock of the Day", but losing it in such a downright awful and pathetic fashion. The team he chose last night, Illinois, looked like me playing pick-up basketball (translation: not good at all). The final score was 59-36, NOT Illinois. How do you only score 36 points in an entire game? It's not like they were running the Princeton offense and waiting until under 5 seconds on the shot clock to shoot. They were just absolutely terrible. And the reason why? Because Big Q picked them. It's getting to the point where I might start gambling again. I'll just wait for Big Q's lock, then bet my entire life savings on the opposite team. This can't fail right? Only problem is, he lost 3 (not counting the push), won 3, then he lost 4. The pattern seems to suggest that he will win the next 4 picks and TOTALLY REDEEM HIMSELF. I don't see it happening...

So it looks like I got a fun-filled weekend coming up. After work today, I plan on going to Sidebar for Happy Hour. You can't really beat 10 cent wings and 2 dollar pints of Bud Light. Giddy up. After that, I think we're heading to Loews to watch that new movie "Taken". All the reviews say that the movie is an action-packed, edge-of-your-seat, and COMPLETELY IMPLAUSIBLE SCENARIO. This is perfect for me today. Sometimes you just don't want to have to think. If you are looking for an all around spectacular movie, however, then I suggest Slumdog Millionaire. Not sure if I wrote about it in a previous entry, but this is the movie of the year, hands down. STAMPED IT. Not sure what I'm doing after the movie, but since I'm starting to feel really old, there's a chance I might just call it a night and hit the sheets.

I got a pretty nice little Saturday lined up. We're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

In actuality, my real Saturday looks like this. I'm going to wake up early and hit the gym (still working out 5 times a week). Then I'm gonna come home, make some breakfast, then help my roommate fix the front door to the condo. Apparently it's loose (that's what she said) so we need to tighten it up a bit. Just so you can appreciate how truly "responsible" I am, I'm gonna follow that by ordering a new frying pan and cleaning up the place (vacuum, possibly attempt to corral all the wires hanging around, etc.). After that, I'm heading over to Franklin for our softball team get-together where we'll choose names, jerseys, drink some beers, and eat a bunch of food. Always a good time. From there, I'm heading to Sports Depot in Allston/Brighton to watch UFC 94 baby! What a fuckin card lined up. Nate Diaz vs. Clay Guida, Karo Parisyan Vs. Dong Hyun Kim, Stephan Bonnar Vs. Jon Jones, Lyoto Machida Vs. Thiago Silva, and finally the MEGAFIGHT: Georges St-Pierre Vs. BJ Penn. This is two top 5 fighters going head to head in a battle for the ages. My head is going to explode just thinking about watching this fight card. I will also be really drunk when I watch this.

Super Bowl Sunday is going to consist of me rolling out of bed whenever my body feels ready. I'm not sure where I'm going to watch the game as of yet, got a few options lined up. I'm pretty sure I'd like to avoid driving because I'll most likely be hammered, but you never know with me. What are people doing for the Super Bowl? Leave a comment.

Sports News

• Celtics: How the FUCK is Ray Allen not an all-star reserve?
• Bruins: After playing like dogshit the first 2 periods last night, they made a valiant comeback, took the lead, then blew the game in the final 2 minutes and overtime. Hey, at least they got a point. I was chalking it up as a straight L after watching the first 2 periods.
• Red Sox: I guess we'll know later today if Varitek is going to be our catcher next year. I sure hope so, but if not, what can you do?
• Patriots: I can't wait for us to win another Super Bowl this Sunday! Oh wait, we're not in it? What, we had 11 wins and didn't make the playoffs? Well that's unfortunate.

Have a good weekend everyone! Stay warm, stay safe, don't drink and drive, and GO CARDINALS!

The Cardinals cheerleaders ready for the money shot special.

Big Q's Lock of the Day

Selina Miss Illinois thinks Illinois will win tonight and Big Q (aka Q mush) agrees. So if you like your money, fade away!

Q's Lock of the Day: Illinois -1

Things I don't understand...

It looks like the Detroit Red Wings just signed forward Henrik Zetterberg to a 12 year, $72 million contract. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the NHL, but what is up with teams signing these retardedly long contracts? 12 years, are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure that NHL contracts are GUARANTEED contracts so if he suffers a career ending injury next week, Detroit is still on the hook for all $72 million. Hey, it might work out in the long run, but as a GM, why even take that risk? I mean, obviously this is fantastic for the player, but it's just not a logical thing to do for an organization. This was almost as stupid as the NY Islanders signing goalie Rick DiPietro to a 15 YEAR contract a few years ago. Naturally, DiPietro has been shut down for the remainder of this season because of lingering knee problems from 2 SURGERIES IN 4 MONTHS. If this guy never comes back to full health and mobility, the Islanders will look really dumb. Almost as dumb as Big Q with his lock of the day picks haha.

Apparently, Kobe Bryant jerseys are the #1 selling NBA jerseys. Kevin Garnett is #2. This doesn't surprise me because everyone who bought a Kevin Garnett jersey also bought a Kobe Bryant jersey so they could wipe their asses with it or burn it. Seriously, the only people outside of California that are purchasing Kobe Bryant jerseys gotta be doing it as some sort of joke, right? I can see people from Denver buying them just so they can have an excuse when they rape someone. I've already discussed why the Boston fan faithful would do it.

Kobe Bryant's favorite song: "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

I mean, c'mon now. This guy clearly raped that girl in Denver while he was "rehabbing" and somehow he got away with it. It appears that the same "guy" that killed OJ's wife was also the same "guy" who raped that girl in Denver. Yup, you heard it here first. Kobe Bryant killed Nicole Brown Simpson. What's worse than the fact that he got away with rape is the fact that his bimbo wife forgave him after he bought her a $4 million ring to patch things up. What a stupid fuckin materialistic whorebag she is and she ought to be ashamed of herself.

Let's move on to another topic: obesity in America. What the fuck is going on here? How are there so many damn fat people in this country? Do people not understand portion control, exercise, or the ability to not look disgusting? It's completely out of hand. I'm kind of glad that we're in a recession now so that all the fat asses in this world are forced to think twice about how much they will consume. Hey, guess what? If you don't eat as much, it won't cost as much. This isn't rocket science. Stop being fat. It all stems from laziness. And don't come at me with the "it's in some people's genes to be this way" line. That's a load of crap. Anyone has the ability to keep their body looking presentable. It just takes a little hard work and some discipline.


Moral of the story: obese people suck. They get in the way of everything and everybody. I'm proposing that we have a NATIONWIDE "Biggest Loser" contest, and whoever is still obese when the competition ends will be executed.

Q's Lock of the Day - Fear the Turtle!!!

Despite BC being on a modest 2 game winning streak, and despite Maryland losing 3 out of it's last 4 and despite almost getting doubled up by Duke, I like Maryland a lot here. Maybe I'm just bitter after they got completely blown out against Wake Forest in one of my previous locks but I really believe BC gets blown out here.

Q's Lock of the Day: Maryland Terps -5



And in case you haven't heard, Patrice Bergeron, Milan Lucic, and Andrew Ference will all play tonight against Washington. Let the 2nd half begin!

Q's 2nd Lock of the Day: Bruins PL +180

Go Rangers!

This is a picture of the new batting helmets that will be worn by the Texas Rangers this year. Having the ugliest helmets in the history of professional sports is actually a genius idea because pitchers will be so distracted by them that they won't be able to focus, thus causing an increase in walks and on base percentage. Although, on the flip side, the Rangers hitters might feel so self-conscious wearing them that they also might not be able to focus. Sad day for baseball.

By the way, this is not a joke. Those really are going to be the helmets that they wear for all 162 games.

This just in: Josh Hamilton took one look at the helmets and immediately started doing heavy drugs again. Sad day for baseball indeed...

Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy new year to all you Chinese (and other Asian) bastards! This is the year of the OX. You know it's going to be a good year when the letters of this year's animal are the same letters you use when playing Tic Tac Toe. I wonder if the economy is going to affect the number of red envelopes (filled with money) that kids are going to receive this year.

So last night consisted of a traditional paying respects ceremony at the Gee How Oak Tin Association headquarters, followed by the Chinese New Year's Eve annual banquet. Typically this event consists of all vegetarian food, but this year they decided to celebrate the year of the Ox by clogging my arteries. Good, because I'm a meat-a-tarian. It's a personal choice.

Anyway, so with the food there was also a large quantity of red wine that was consumed. I think my Dad had too much to drink because he ended up "accidentally" knocking over a tea cup, spilling tea on my Mom's dress. I thought it was pretty funny. What I didn't find funny was the fact that I got CUT OFF from drinking wine near the end of the night. I wasn't even drunk, but I guess it looked like it when I chugged an entire glass of wine after we did one of the many New Years cheers. It should be a rule that you cannot be cut off unless you either puke, molest someone, or are clinically dead on the floor.

Here is some interesting information courtesy of wikipedia...

In Chinese astrology the zodiac of twelve animal signs represents twelve different types of personality. The zodiac traditionally begins with the sign of the Rat, and there are many stories about the Origins of the Chinese Zodiac which explain why this is so (see below). The following are the twelve zodiac signs in order and their characteristics.

1. Rat (Yang, 1st Trine, Fixed Element Water): Forthright, disciplined, systematic, meticulous, charismatic, hardworking, industrious, charming, eloquent, sociable, shrewd. Can be manipulative, vindictive, mendacious, venal, selfish, obstinate, critical, over-ambitious, ruthless, intolerant, scheming.
2. Ox (Yin, 2nd Trine, Fixed Element Water): Dependable, calm, methodical, patient, hardworking, ambitious, conventional, steady, modest, logical, resolute, tenacious. Can be stubborn, narrow-minded, materialistic, rigid, demanding.
3. Tiger (Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish.
4. Rabbit (Yin, 4th Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Gracious, kind, sensitive, soft-spoken, amiable, elegant, reserved, cautious, artistic, thorough, tender, self-assured, astute, compassionate, flexible. Can be moody, detached, superficial, self-indulgent, opportunistic, lazy, horny.
5. Dragon (Yang, 1st Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Magnanimous, stately, vigorous, strong, self-assured, proud, noble, direct, dignified, zealous, fiery, passionate, decisive, pioneering, ambitious, generous, loyal. Can be arrogant, imperious, tyrannical, demanding, eccentric, grandiloquent and extremely bombastic, prejudiced, dogmatic, over-bearing, violent, impetuous, brash.
6. Snake (Yin, 2nd Trine, Fixed Element Fire): Deep thinker, wise, mystic, graceful, soft-spoken, sensual, creative, prudent, shrewd, ambitious, elegant, cautious, responsible, calm, strong, constant, purposeful. Can be loner, bad communicator, possessive, hedonistic, self-doubting, distrustful, mendacious.
7. Horse (Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Fire): Cheerful, popular, quick-witted, changeable, earthy, perceptive, talkative, agile mentally and physically, magnetic, intelligent, astute, flexible, open-minded. Can be fickle, arrogant, anxious, rude, gullible, stubborn.
8. Ram (Yin, 4th Trine, Fixed Element Fire): Righteous, sincere, sympathetic, mild-mannered, shy, artistic, creative, gentle, compassionate, understanding, mothering, determined, peaceful, generous, seeks security. Can be moody, indecisive, over-passive, worrier, pessimistic, over-sensitive, complainer, wise.
9. Monkey (Yang, 1st Trine, Fixed Element Metal): Inventor, motivator, improviser, quick-witted, inquisitive, flexible, innovative, problem solver, self-assured, sociable, polite, dignified, competitive, objective, factual, intellectual. Can be egotistical, vain, selfish, reckless, snobbish, deceptive, manipulative, cunning, jealous, suspicious.
10. Rooster (Yin, 2nd Trine, Fixed Element Metal): Acute, neat, meticulous, organized, self-assured, decisive, conservative, critical, perfectionist, alert, zealous, practical, scientific, responsible. Can be over zealous and critical, puritanical, egotistical, abrasive, opinionated.
11. Dog (Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Metal): Honest, intelligent, straightforward, loyal, sense of justice and fair play, attractive, amicable, unpretentious, sociable, open-minded, idealistic, moralistic, practical, affectionate, dogged. Can be cynical, lazy, cold, judgmental, pessimistic, worrier, stubborn, quarrelsome.
12. Pig (Yin, 4th Trine, Fixed Element Water): Honest, simple, gallant, sturdy, sociable, peace-loving, patient, loyal, hard-working, trusting, sincere, calm, understanding, thoughtful, scrupulous, passionate, intelligent. Can be naive, over-reliant, self-indulgent, gullible, fatalistic, materialistic.

For the record, I was born the year of the Dog. Look at that description, it's definitely me, especially the characteristic that says "lazy".

By the way, if you're looking to collect red envelopes and you can barely speak Chinese, make sure you remember these two phrases:

1. gung hay fat choy: best wishes for a prosperous and good year
2. sun tai geen hong: wishing you good health

In other news, it's Big Frank Cho's birthday today:

This picture is ridiculous.

Welcome to Club 26. It blows.

Sports

• The Celtics walloped the Mavs yesterday. Eddie "Don't Leave the!" House was on fiyahhhhhh, hitting seven 3-pointers and scoring something like 23 points. Rajon Rondo had another solid performance scoring 13 points, grabbing 7 boards, swindling 4 steals and handing out 14 dime pieces. This team is again showing signs of domination, just like how Big Frank Cho is dominating that little girl in the picture above, and I like it.

• Looks like the Red Sox have made a formal offer to re-sign Jason Varitek. Looks like it could be a two-year deal, not sure on the dollar figure just yet. It's safe to say that it's not going to be anywhere near the $10 million he made last year. Hey, we need this guy, not only to keep our pitching staff in check, but to transfer some knowledge to the younger catchers before he retires. Listen, everyone is aware that Varitek is essentially an auto-out on offense, but his intangibles (calling the game, clubhouse leadership, banging Heidi Watney) are what make him integral to the team. We have no real depth at the catching position, so I'm all for this signing if it happens.
  
  
• In case you were wondering why there were no locks of the day posted in awhile, it's because Big Q went on a ski trip for the last 4 days. Well, Big Q is back from his ski trip and he looked like death last night so we'll see if he can generate enough energy in the coming days to provide you all with some locks of the day.

Who fights outside of a tennis match?

A couple of days ago, I referred to John McEnroe as being the first player to ever be ejected from the Australian Open. Well yesterday, there was a match between Novak Djokovic (a serb) and Amer Delic (a bosnian-born US player). Now I know there's a history between this 2 countries (read: Slobodan Milosevic), but you wouldn't expect anything to erupt at a tennis match right? Well, it's safe to say that nothing actually did happen during the match. The players were cordial throughout, as they are friends. However, outside of the stadium, Serbian and Bosnian youths got into a fight. Just watch the video as these kids start tossing chairs at each other. Apparently, some girl got drilled on the head. It's understandable that an event like this would happen at a soccer (futbol) event or, as a stretch, even a basketball game. But tennis? Are you fuckin kidding me? I didn't even think that that many Serbs and Bosnians would travel to Australia to begin with. What's next? Golf? Badminton? Gymnastics? Chess?

Unbelievable.

The streak comes to an end

So it looks like Big Q's three game winning streak has come to an end. Finally, we are back to normalcy around here. As you probably noticed, Big Q picked Miami to win by at least 6.5 points yesterday over Florida State. Naturally, Miami only won by 6 points. The gambling gods, and his bookie, collective sent him this message:

Sports News

Last night the Bruins stormed back from a 3-1 deficit in the 3rd period to rip out the souls of the Maple Leafs by scoring 2 third period goals and winning the game in the shootout on a Michael "Knight" Ryder goal. Credit must be given to Martin St. Pierre who scored on the previous attempt to even force the sudden death shootout goal. Clutch city, baby.

The Celtics continued their torrid run by murking Miami for their 6th straight win. They've been winning by an average of 16 points, or something like that, during this winning streak. This is good because it gives the starters some rest, especially since they have the tail end of a back to back tonight versus Orlando. Tonight will be another litmus test to see who is the big dog in the Eastern Conference.

As for the Patriots, Tom Brady's rehab apparently is going really well. My question is: who the hell is Tom Brady??? That was a joke.

The Red Sox have avoided arbitration by signing Papelbon and Javier Lopez. Papelbon will be making a cool $6.25 million next season. Oh, by the way, more tickets will go on sale this Saturday.

Other News

It looks like the Mass Turnpike Authority is going to be offering those Fast Lane transponders (for the tolls) free of charge starting on February 15th. However, don't jump to any conclusions yet as I'm still trying to verify if there's going to be a monthly fee or not. Stay posted.

On Tuesday night, my roommate Jon and I cooked a gigantic tray of lasagna. It's like 3 levels deep and we cannot finish it all. We ate maybe 1/8 of it and it's just sitting in the fridge waiting to be eaten. If you aren't doing anything, come over for lasagna tonight. Jon is away on a ski trip and I'm not gonna eat it for 6 meals in a row.

Neither does cooking that much lasagna

I had to post that picture because it is just awesome in every which way.

Battle of the Floridas

Big line-up tonight, so it took a while to decide which game was Q's Lock worthy. UConn, LSU & Memphis were close but in the end, Jen Sterger is just too hot not to have a pick involving FSU.

Miami just lost to UNC, but before that they were on a nice little run. FSU has hung in tough against some quality opponents but they'll be no match for their in state rival. Joe Public is pounding FSU, which is more reason to take Miami. I wouldnt be surprised if the line drops down to -6 by tip-off. You can wait for the line to drop if you want but The U rolls in this one.

Q's Lock of the Day: Miami -6.5

You cannot be serious!

Ladies and gentlemen, today marks the 19th anniversary of John McEnroe becoming the first player ever to be EJECTED from the Australian Open. Let's celebrate with a couple classic videos:


This is the infamous You cannot be serious quote.




Still doing it at age 48!



In other news, it looks like Big Q has been successful in his last 3 locks of the day. There's a boatload of games on tonight so be ready to watch his streak continue or (more likely) end miserably.

Is this photo funny to you?

So my cousin Kim sent me this picture. Apparently it's some new function that has been placed throughout New York University (NYU) to "save water". It appears that it uses fewer gallons per flush if you're taking a leak and more gallons per flush if you are dropping a deuce. Seems to make sense. However, I'm not too sure where the actual "handle" is located because this picture either doesn't do it justice or I'm just a moron.

Click on the image for a larger version

So my question is: Is this photo funny to you? At first glance, I started laughing because it resembled a cock, but once I read all of the information, I figured out what it was.

Please leave your votes (yes, no) in the comment section, thank you.

History is here!

Congratulations on Barack Obama becoming the first African American President of the United States. Today is a historic day indeed. Whether you are a Democrat, Republican or anything else, it's pretty clear that change is needed in this country. This economic crisis wasn't as a result of one party or another. It was created from failed policies, poor decisions, and greed from politicians in both parties. It's time to clean house and get this country back on the right path. Nothing is going to happen immediately, so be patient, but change gon' come.








MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!!!!!!!

Inauguration day lock

I deprived all you guys of my Pittsburgh -8.5 pick yesterday but having 3 straight games with a team from Pittsburgh is bad karma. I'm back today with a solid one for you guys. Illinois is a legitimate top 15 team this year and gamblers have yet to figure it out. They've been murdering teams at home both SU and ATS.

Make it rain Obama!!!

Q's Lock of the Day: Illinois -7.5

I have a dream...

That the ARIZONA CARDINALS are in the Super Bowl!!!!!!!


Wow, I can't believe the Cardinals are in the Super Bowl. This team looked like a pile of dog crap going into the post season. I gotta give them credit though. They turned it up a notch when they needed to, beating Atlanta, SMOKING Carolina, then surviving the Philly comeback attempt. Larry Fitzgerald is my hero.

Hey, a new TV show is coming out on FX are a result of this game...


It's called "It's NOT Always Sunny in Philadelphia" hahahaha.

In other news, today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Not only was this guy integral in making sure that there is equality in this country, but he is also the reason why I have the day off from work today. To this, I say thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I'm pretty sure that Barack Obama is going to refer to MLK Day during his inauguration speech tomorrow, as he should. It's amazing that this country has come far enough to elect a black man as President of the United State of America. Hopefully he does well because our country is not so hot right now. And by "not so hot", I mean that the value of an American dollar doesn't go as far in a Montreal strip club anymore. Tough times for all...

In all seriousness, I do value what MLK Day represents and do appreciate that we live in a world that continues to break down barriers between different races and cultures. However, if you were looking for a well thought out analysis and patriotic piece regarding the importance of this day, then please visit another site. Thank you, come again.

Thank you Pitt

Winner winner, fat chick's dinner! Too bad I still hate you Pittsburgh.

So do we all agree Ryan Clark is the cheapest player in the NFL?? I fully expect the Goodell to levy a pretty stiff fine on this hit. He clearly led helmet first and practically killed McGahee. This was almost as cheap as the hit on Wes Welker but since Welker's on the Patriots, no fines or penalties were given. Since McGahee is on Baltimore, expect a $5k-$15k fine handed out tomorrow.





Hey Mr Potatohead - when you wake up you need to set up a poll that goes something like:
Yes - Ryan Clark is a cheap fuck and should burn in hell
No - Ryan Clark is playing within the rules and you'd love it if he was on your team

AFC Championship Game

Baltimore is playing for the one millionth straight game in a row and Pittsburgh is well rested, playing from home with a healthy Willie Parker. As much as it pains me to see a team from Shitsburgh in the Super Bowl, it's gonna happen, so we might as well profit a little from it.

Do yourselves a favor and avoid Pittsburgh later on tonight. This fat chick will be drunk, happy and looking for some poontang.

Q's Lock of the Day: Pittsburgh -6

Congratulations!

Some of you might be wondering why there's a difference between Big Q's lock of the day post (Louisville -2.5 vs. Pitt) and the actual result on the right (Louisville only -1.5 vs. Pitt). Well apparently, Big Q was too hungover to realize that he didn't confirm his bet so when he wrote his blog post he had assumed his bets were in. That was clearly not the case as he realized it midway through the Duke/Georgetown game. At first, I was selfishly hoping Louisville would lose so Big Q could keep his almost imperfect record in tact, but once he stated that he would "take a break from gambling" if Louisville didn't cover, I knew that the gambling Gods were going to give him this one to keep him reeled in.

Congratulations Big Q on his first successful lock of the day pick!

Saturday Picks of the Day

Big day today. Lots of games so I'll give a special treat to everybody. The Big Q has not 1, but 2 locks of the day.

Clemson -2
Clemson is a bit older and just as talented. Wake's young team won't be able to take the pressure on the road in a hostile environment in the clash of undefeated ACC teams.

Louisville -2.5
I love this game. Louisville is ten times more athletic then Pitt. Since I hate everything about the city of Pittsburgh I'm going to enjoy Louisville romp Pitt.

You can thank me later when you take the winnings out to the bars tonight and look like a baller buying rounds of gran patron for everybody.

It's Friday Bitches

Time for the weekend debacle to begin!

Madrid Jail Brings The Sexy For Its Inmates

Boston.com :

MADRID, Spain—A prison guards' union said a female stripper performed at a Spanish jail and authorities did nothing to stop it. The union says the woman took her clothes off before male inmates Jan. 2 and committed several lewd acts at the prison in Picassent in the eastern Valencia region.

An official with the Spanish Penitentiary System called it an inappropriate "musical performance" and said an investigation was trying to find out who authorized it.

The union called ACAIP reported the event in a complaint filed Jan. 8 with the prison system and reported Thursday in Spanish media.

The complaint said a female deputy warden witnessed the striptease in a recreation area and did not stop it. It says several female guards left the room in disgust

Is this story for real??? I'm sitting in my cube, in my engineering firm, surround by 99% dudes & 1% ugly chicks and I'm reading about Spanish convicts getting lap dances and tended to by female wardens. Fucking A - I'm tempted to hop on a plane and rob the first bank i see in Madrid. There's 10 times more eye candy there then in my office.

EDITORS NOTE: That video may or may not be NSFW.

In case you were wondering...

If you didn't notice, we have a new regular author on this site going by the name of Carlos Quintana. He will be primarily catering to the gambling crowd by posting his "Big Q's lock of the day" picks. He will also contribute with other stupid shit from time to time. Currently, his official record is 0-2-1 (lost the BC game, pushed the Penn State game, lost the URI game). At first, I wasn't going to count last night's pick (URI) since he submitted it as a comment and not as a blog post, but after further review, it's an official pick because he considered it a "lock" and gloated about spending the winnings at a nearby Gentlemen's Club. We are going to keep a running tally of his successes and (more likely) failures to see just how good (or bad) he is at this gambling thing.

At this point, I'd say that the wise choice would be to review his bet, analyze his masterful logic, and then bet the complete opposite. Your wallet will probably thank you. Since I no longer gamble, I will sit back and laugh as this whole process unfolds.

Answering comments

Amit K-O said...

thanks for the response man and def appreciate your insight...re Ortiz, lets see what he does this season as i would love it for him to prove me wrong...hopefully 2008 was only an injury-related aberration (and hopefully that wrist injury has fully healed up)...sticking w/ the sox, any thoughts on michael young from the rangers? is he a Top 5 or Top 10 MLB shortstop? payce

January 13, 2009 10:45 PM

Amit, thanks for the question. It looks like Michael Young is no longer on the trading block so if you were thinking of adding him to the Sox, I guess that's no longer a possibility. He's 32 years old and BEGINS a 5 year $80 million extension this season, so technically the Red Sox would be one of the few teams that could afford him. I like Michael Young. He's been a consistent All Star at shortstop since A-Rod left the Rangers and he's a career .300 hitter who averages 15 homers and 87 RBI per year. He also won the Gold Glove last year. As far as if he's a top 5 or top 10 shortstop? Well, that's tough to say. He's really a borderline top 5 guy. The top 3 guys are obviously Jose Reyes, Hanley Ramirez, and Jimmy Rollins (in whatever order you want them in). These guys are bonafide 5 tool players, hands down. After that, there's some gray area. As much as I hate to say it, I'm gonna have to go ahead and put Derek Jeter as 4th best. His offensive capabilities are solid, his defense has noticeably lost a step in the last few years, but he has the intangibles that make him invaluable to the team. As for the 5th best? It's a big debate between Michael Young and up and coming guys like Stephen Drew, J.J. Hardy, and Troy Tulowitzki (bad year last year because of injuries).

I'm actually not going to make the decision on Michael Young for 2 reasons:

1. If you read the article that I linked to, he's no longer going to be playing SS, he'll be playing 3B from now on.
2. His numbers can really only regress going forward, while all these young guys have the potential to explode.

Playtynm said...

Kotsey was a big signing for the sox - Allows the sox to be flexible at third base now with the return of Mike Lowell still unknown-Youk will be on third and a casey/kotsey platoon @ first -

January 10, 2009 4:03 PM

Matty, I'm pretty sure that Sean Casey is still technically a free agent as he only signed a one year deal with the Sox last year. He's not listed on the official 40-man roster right now. I'd like to see him come back to add some depth, and a HUGE clubhouse presence, but we'll see what happens. I think that if Lowell is still hurt, Youk will play third and Kotsay will start at first for the time being. We might even consider bringing up Lars Anderson (our best power hitting 1B prospect) for some spot duty as well. One more thing: good to hear that the Sox re-signed Youk to a 4 year $40+ million extension. Having Pedroia and Youk locked up for at least the next 4 years, especially at moderate contracts, is pretty damn solid. Good work Theo.

Anonymous Hooker said...

Hey Barkley, you owe me money for that BJ I gave you the other day.

January 15, 2009 12:35 PM

Anonymous Hooker, thanks for the comment. Hey Barkley, you owe this chick some money, pay up! If you are short on cash, make sure you listen to all of Big Q's bets so you can make an easy score.

New Pro at Cooking Episode

Enjoy!

Can BC stop their slide against undefeated Wake?

Boston College just defeated previously undefeated North Carolina, pushing their win streak to double digits and improving their season record to 13-2. All was good in superfan country until they decided to mush their season by printing those gay ass "we got your number" tshirts. Well karmas a bitch cause they've since lost 2 straight at home to Harvard (that's right guys, they lost to fricken Harvard, bonus points to anyone who can name a single hoops player on their team in the last decade) and The U.

On paper - WF led by All-Everything guard Jeff Teague should dominate Tyrese Rice and the slumping Eagles. Not to worry though Superfans, WF probably doesnt even realize they're in Chestnut Hill right now as they're still hungover from their win against the Tar Heels and will be looking ahead to their date Saturday with undefeated ACC rival Clemson. Boston College takes advantage and steals a game they have no business winning.

The Big Q's lock of the day: BC +3.5

and just for shits and giggles - PSU wins/covers the 5 point spread against MSU tonight. Go Nittany Lions!

The Bruins are nasty

Source: Boston.com article

During the second shift of the night, Tom Kostopoulos, Montreal's third-line grinder, tried to make a statement. Kostopoulos saw Zdeno Chara along the wall, whirred up his legs, and charged at the Bruins captain. An instant later, it was Kostopoulos who was dragging himself up off the ice, knocked flat on his back. The Boston strongman had seen the hit coming, braced himself, and dropped Kostopoulos. The message was clear: not in our house.

Let me just make this statement loud and clear: Boston's here. It's always fun watching the Bruins win, and it's extra sweet when we beat the fuckin Canadiens (or Habs or whatever you wanna call those douchebags). We clearly played the more physical game, as we have all season, and it's really paying off. Keep in mind, the B's were without three of our top forwards: Phil Kessel (mononucleosis, what the hell is that?, out for a month), Marco Sturm (knee injury, OUT FOR SEASON), and Milan "the Body" Lucic (undisclosed injury, day-to-day). Also, we lost defenceman Aaron Ward last night as well and we still beat their asses. Does this remind you of something? You're damn right. It's like the fuckin Patriots. Someone goes down, someone takes his place and still produces. I'm loving the depth on this team. Every line is a bonafide threat to score or to beat your ass into submission. And our goaltending situation is pretty damn solid. Yes, I know we're only a little over halfway through the season, but it's been awhile since anyone has been able to feel really good about this team. I realize that the Bruins made the postseason last year, but we lost 5-0 in game 7 to guess who? The fuckin Canadiens. So I'm sure they're eager to get that nasty stench out of their mouths and show everyone in the league who is boss. No, not Bruce Springsteen, but the Bruins.

Side note: The Bruins should be more solid in NHL '10 for PS3 next year. I played my roommate in NHL '09 (he chose the Bruins before I could and I ended up being the Red Wings), and I ended up beating him in all 3 fights. This is clearly not a realistic game if the Bruins are losing fights to the Red Wings. Anyway, NHL '09 is solid. It takes a little while to get used to the controls, but once you do, the game really takes off. It's not like those old games like NHL '95 where you can just skate across the crease and score top shelf every time. It actually takes some skill to score here. I like the challenge.

Baseball news

Congratulations Jim Rice on FINALLY being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame (HOF)! It's about F-ing time. This guy deserved to be inducted years ago, but it seems like his previously unfriendly relationship with the baseball writers (who vote for Hall of Fame inductees) was what was causing this delay. Hey, maybe his numbers were borderline for the HOF, and maybe I'm just a Boston homer, but this guy deserved it. He was one of the most dominant hitters for over a decade. He was top 5 in MVP voting 6 times and even won the MVP award in 1978, where he led the American league in hits, slugging %, OPS, games played, at-bats, plate appearances, total bases, triples, home runs, RBIs, extra base hits, and was 3rd in batting average, and 2nd in runs scored. Read that again. HOLY FLUCKING SCHNIT! Oh by the way, he was also an 8-time All-Star. For more statistics, just go here. His numbers speak for themselves.

Also congrats to Rickey Henderson, the STEAL CHAMP of major league baseball. Best leadoff hitter of all time. This guy stole more shit than Winona Ryder. Welcome to the Hall of Fame mister Henderson. Also, take a peek at funny Rickey Henderson quotes.

The Red Sox introduced John Smoltz yesterday. I'm telling you, he's gonna be important down the stretch. You heard it here first...

Celtics

Looks like the Celtics have shown signs of getting out of their funk. They just beat the Raptors in a home-and-home and they got the Nets for a home-and-home. It's pretty hard to beat the same team in consecutive games, so if they can accomplish that twice in one week, I'll be impressed. However, we will be missing Perkins and Tony Allen again, so that hurts our starting lineup and some of our depth. I don't know, not much to say here. The Celtics need to step up their game because the Cavs, Magic, and Lakers are murking teams like the Celtics should be doing.

Patriots

It looks like it's open season on Patriots staff. First, we lose McDaniels to the Broncos, and next we lose Scott Pioli to the Chiefs. I wonder who's next? Honestly, I'm not that concerned. Belichick is the one who gave all of these guys their opportunities to develop and thrive in the Patriots organization. It wasn't vice versa. So we will find replacements or just promote from within like we normally do. Belichick is the genius, everyone else is just an apprentice. I'm glad that all of Belichick's disciples have gone on to get head coaching or GM positions because it really speaks to how prepared, detailed, and successful the Patriots organization is and will be for the forseeable future. Look, we lost Brady for the season and Matt Cassel still guided us to 11 wins. Some people will credit McDaniels for that, which is accurate, but who taught McDaniels and took him under his wing? Belichick. Basically, what I'm saying here is: As long as Bill Belichick is the head coach of the Patriots, we have nothing to worry about.

My Personal Life

Friday night, I went out with Balco and some other teammates to Celebrate Anne's bday. We started off the night at this guy Ross' place in the Back Bay area. Damn this dude has a sweet pad. It was sorta like a MTV Cribs apartment version. Two floors, big ass ceilings, big time TV room, all stainless steel appliances, etc. So we pregamed there, then headed over to Stix, which apparently is right next to Bar 33. It was cool meeting a bunch of new people, as well as hanging out with some heads that I hadn't seen in awhile. The DJ, for some reason, wanted to play eurotrash, but we kept requesting hip hop so the music changed back and forth every hour or so. We all got pretty lit up and I started rapping and dancing to the music as usual. I'm not sure if it's annoying or if people like it, but that's what I do when I'm drunk and listening to hip hop. Sue me. I had to wake up for flag football at 9:30 the following day so we called it a night at like 1:30am.

On Saturday, after my flag football game (we won), I went home, showered, got dressed and then went to my cousin Cynthia's wedding at the Park Plaza Hotel. You know, all wedding ceremonies should be like this. The entire wedding, from beginning to end, was maybe 15 minutes long. It was so fast that women didn't even have a chance to cry and guys didn't even have a chance to get bored. Also, it speeds up the ability to start drinking. After the wedding ceremony, there was a food/cocktail hour which was good and bad. The spread of food was solid, as I ate a bunch of cheese, crackers, shrimp, mushrooms, etc. The only thing that kind of sucked was, not the fact that it was a cash bar, but the fact that drinks were ridiculously expensive. I managed to get 4 heinekens for the low price of 30 DOLLARS. Read that sentence again. I can't even believe I just typed that. I could've gotten 2 lap dances and a Foxy Lady T-shirt for that price. So anyway, we mingled with a bunch of people then went back to my place and watched football and played Red Sox Jenga until the dinner reception at Hai La Moon.

Needless to say, we went to the banquet, got completely hammered, I danced with my mom, fell asleep at News afterwards, watched my cousin Danny slip on a manhole and land on his ass, then woke up the next morning and found out that Danny also puked in the barrel in my bathroom WHILE TAKING A SHIT. Just picture this. You're hungover, your head is spinning, you need to take a shit. You're on the shitter unleashing hell, then suddenly you have to bend over, grab a barrel and puke into it, all simultaneously. Good thing it wasn't me haha. I made him clean it up before I drove his ass home. I pretty much did absolutely nothing all day on Sunday. And that's exactly how life should be on Sundays. That's it for now. I'll write again later this week. Adios.

Pre-Weekend Update

Well it looks like the Celtics have an opportunity to give Cleveland its first home loss this season. Based on the way they've been playing, their chances don't look that great. However, it's Friday and I'm feeling optimistic. Celtics by 5.

I'm going to this place called Styx tonight, right near Bar 33 in the Back Bay area. It's Anne's birthday. Happy birthday Anne! There is a zero percent chance I'm staying sober tonight because with drinking, "I can't stop once I've started, it stings!" All you Dumb & Dumber enthusiasts will understand the reference.

Tomorrow is my cousin Cynthia's wedding. Congrats Cynthia and Irvin! Wedding is in the afternoon over at Park Plaza, followed by a Chinatown banquet. I graciously agreed to usher people to their dinner tables at the wedding reception, with the stipulation being that I am allowed to drink before, during, and after doing so. Wow, my liver is pretty annoyed with me right now.

What do people think about the NFL playoff games this week? Here are my picks to win:

• Baltimore (their defense is too nasty)
• Pittsburgh (they are well rested and playing at home in the cold weather)
• Carolina (DeAngelo Williams cannot be stopped)
• NY Giants (as much as I hate Eli and the Giants, this is a complete mismatch with Jacobs in the lineup)

Finally, in response to Amit's comment: I'm glad we didn't give up Coco for nothing. We got a solid relief pitcher in return. Plus, Coco would've been unhappy all season being the 4th outfielder and we don't need that type of distraction. With the Baldelli signing, he's fully committed to being a 4th outfielder and it looks like they've been able to diagnose his condition correctly so it can be treated well enough to be available regularly. As far as David Ortiz is concerned, he isn't fading. Up until last year when he got injured and played only 109 games, Ortiz' on base percentage and OPS were increasing every year since he became a member of the Red Sox. Minus last year's aberration, his power numbers may have seemed to be declining, but that's not really the case unless you are looking specifically at homeruns. Look at his total count of extra base hits each year since he joined the team:

• 2003: 72
• 2004: 91
• 2005: 88
• 2006: 85
• 2007: 86

Not counting last year, he's been averaging 84.4 extra base hits per year. Based on the above numbers, it doesn't seem like a regression. It seems like a pretty steady level of production. And remember, during all of those years listed above, Ortiz' OBP and OPS increased each year (again, not including last year's injury plagued season).

My conclusion: Even without Manny, Ortiz will still put up big numbers. It'll probably be a little less than before since he doesn't have the same protection now, but he's still gonna be very effective. Whoever is batting cleanup this year is going to see a ton of hittable pitches.

Have a nice weekend, bitches!

Update (6:30PM): We also just re-signed Mark Kotsay so that's depth at first base and more depth for the outfield.

Sox sign Baldelli and Smoltz

Red Sox news:

• Looks like Rocco Baldelli just signed with the Red Sox. This is good because it adds depth to our outfield after the departure of Coco Crisp.
• John Smoltz also reached a preliminary agreement with the Sox today as well. Hey, it doesn't hurt to add another potential horse to the staff. This guy has been solid his entire career, pitching for the Braves, as a closer and as a starter.

I am a big fan of both of these signings. Rocco Baldelli, when he hasn't been injured, has been pretty damn solid. He's also from the New England area so it'll be a nice homecoming for him. Since he's going to be our fourth outfielder, he'll be able to fill in for Drew when he inevitably gets injured, as well as spell the rest of the outfielders when they need an off-day. Smoltz is a proven workhorse who is probably as professional of a player as you can get. Just a great, stand up guy whose numbers speak for themselves. Plus, after the Braves basically said he's washed up, he's going to be motivated to prove the naysayers wrong.

Yes, both of these players pose an injury risk, but look at it this way. We're going to sign Smoltz for a one year $5 million contract with potentially up to $5 million in performance bonuses. This is basically zero risk. Baldelli's contract numbers haven't been released yet, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be for less than what Smoltz is getting. So look what we have here: a quality fourth outfielder and a solid workhorse for probably around $10 million combined. If they both get injured and never play a game with the Sox, it doesn't really affect us that much. I dig it.

I'm kind of glad we didn't break the bank this year on free agents because everybody knows we're going after Matt Holliday next winter when he becomes a free agent. Well, unless Scott Boras screws us over again, which is likely to happen. My prediction: we go after Holliday, it turns into a bidding war, the Yankees come in at the 11th hour with a ridiculous contract, and he signs with them. You heard it here first.

My true hope is that Jason Bay flourishes here and we re-sign him. He seems like a good, hardworking guy who won't be a clubhouse cancer. We have Ellsbury under control for the next few years I think, and JD Drew is still signed for a couple more years. Once Lowell's contract expires, we're moving Youk back to 3rd and most likely calling up our prized prospect Lars Anderson to fill the void at 1st Base. Pedroia will patrol 2nd for the next 6 years or so, and Lowrie can only get better. I'm telling you right now, Ortiz is going to be a monster this year. Theo just needs to sign another latino guy to joke around with him to keep him loose.

As far as the pitching is concerned, I see Dice-K finally putting it all together and cutting down on the walks. I see Lester evolving into an absolute stud. I see Beckett regressing a little bit, but still putting up above average numbers. Now that we got Smoltzy, I see him as a complete mismatch against other teams' 4th and 5th starters. Brad Penny will have a so-so year I think. That was another great signing either way. Low risk, high return all over the place! Wakefield will continue to be an innings eater. And guess what, we still have Masterson, Bowden, and Buchholz! Relief pitching looks pretty good with the acquisition of that Ramirez guy. We still got Okajima, Delcarmen, Javy "lefty-specialist" Lopez and Papelbon. The more I think about it, the better I feel about the team. We are solid all around, except for catcher, which may or may not be the most important position on the field.

Let's talk about Jason Varitek. All signs are indicating that talks are going horribly with the Sox and Varitek's agent. Guess who his agent is? Fuckin Scott Boras. I'm sure Boras put together a nice little video showing Varitek when he actually could hit and is expecting a multi-year deal for over $10 million per year. That's ludicrous. I, like the next guy, appreciate everything Varitek has done for the team, being captain and all, but there is no justification for paying that much money for someone who is an auto-out. Offensively, he's done. He doesn't have it anymore. Defensively, he's still very solid and he can call a game probably better than any catcher in the league.

In a perfect world, I'd love for Varitek to retire and to sign with the Sox as an adviser, but that's not going to happen. If Varitek leaves, that leaves us with Josh Bard as our starting catcher. He performed pretty well during his stint with the Padres but I think we all remember how much of a disaster it was when he tried to catch Wakefield's knuckleball. I'd like to give him another chance and see what he's made of, but we also need some depth. I would not oppose trading Buchholz to Texas for one of its solid core of catch prospects: Taylor Teagarden or Jarrod Saltalamacchia. I dunno, we'll see what happens.

I'm getting really excited for the season. I'm pretty sure that Yankees fans are already printing out World Series championship merchandise since they signed all these big name players. I say hold on a minute. There's 162 games to be played and we all know who's going to win the AL East this year...

The Tampa Bay Rays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding (kinda). 37 days until pitchers and catchers report!

I need some ideas...

Hey guys/girls, I need your help here. I'm trying to come up with a good new year's resolution. If you have any good ideas, please leave a comment. Thanks.

New Year's Recap

I wanna start off with a birthday shout out to Jerry M. Just remember, 40 is the new 30!

My body is absolutely destroyed from drinking for 6 nights in a row. My brain isn't even functioning correctly, but here is an attempt to summarize what happened...

Tuesday 12/30/08 - By request, I held pasta night at my place because everybody loves my fuckin pasta. I gotta admit, it's pretty damn good. It's sweet, but with a spicy kick to it. Just think about that. It boggles the mind. For the record, I only use wheat pasta because it's healthier and it cost the same as regular pasta. As for the sauce, I'm not telling you shit because it's a secret. Plus, I can make the entire meal in about 30-45 minutes. I rule. If you don't think so, then look at the URL to this blog.

Anyway, people decided to bring brownie mix and garlic bread to supplement the feast. Thank you Richie, thank you Krissi. Also in attendance was Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) beer and a little game called Cranium. Thank you Ed and Alan, thank you Mei. I'm sure you are wondering why the hell we were drinking PBR. Well here's why. We watched the new Clint Eastwood movie "Gran Turino" the night before. It was great. He was drinking PBR throughout the movie. There's your explanation. As for Cranium, I am declaring this as the best game ever created. It's like a combination of Pictionary, Charades, Trivial Pursuit, and a few other games all combined into one. We had 5 guys and 4 girls, so we decided to split into 3 teams of 3. I was on a team with 2 other girls so my team was the only team with 3 girls. Needless to say, the game was full of laughs, drinking, intense competition, and blatant stupidity, which coincidentally is synonymous with my life. The game was so close that every team had an opportunity to win the game at the end. Naturally, my team lost because God is still punishing me for not going to Church even though I live right down the street. But it sure as hell was fun.

We are now planning on holding a "Game Night" regularly because A) it's a shitload of fun and B) we'll save money by not going to the bars/clubs. If you are interested in this, please let me know. My roommate Jon already ordered Cranium and I might order the Trivial Pursuit 25th Anniversary Edition soon. We also have Guitar Hero fully functioning at this time. Our guitars broke a couple of weeks ago, but we now have replacements. YOU ROCK!

After dinner and game night, we ended up going to Blue 22 for the rest of the evening. It was NiMan's birthday so we chilled, had some drinks, watched some funny karaoke, and called it a successful night.

Wednesday 12/31/08 - New Year's Eve. As you can see from the posts below, I did an ode to 2008 in rhyme form. That's pretty much all I accomplished at work that day. That night, I went to a house party over by Northeastern with Big Ed Wong and Little Krissi Zhou. Unsurprisingly, I ended up drinking like a fish (to the tune of over 20 drinks), apparently did hip hop karaoke, ended up at Blue 22 at 1:30am and drank a ridiculous amount of alcohol in 30 minutes, flopped around like a retard, then went to the Quincy Marriott and passed out, then somehow ended up in my bed at like 4:30am. I'd like to discuss this night in more detail, but unfortunately this is all that I remember. Isn't that what New Year's Eve is supposed to be? Sadly, I did not get laid that night, but I vaguely remember big Dave Wong try to molest me with his boxers on at the hotel. Correction: maybe I did get laid that night.

Thursday 1/1/09 - Woke up New Year's Day WITHOUT a hangover. I was pretty pumped about that. Plus, my ass wasn't sore so I guess I wasn't violated by my Godbrother. I laid around most of the day until I was suckered into going to The Greatest Bar for the Rose Bowl (Penn State vs. USC). My roommate Jon is a Penn State alum so he was all amped up for the game and forced me to go with him. So I, in turn, got Steve-O and Balco to come along as well. The place was pretty damn packed. Apparently, the Greatest Bar is a Penn State alumni home base or something because the entire bar was filled with Penn State apparel. Too bad Penn State didn't win because I wanted to see the entire place go nuts. It wasn't even a contest. USC completely dominated them. I would've been concerned about all the glum faces there, but fortunately I had been drinking throughout the duration of the game so all I was doing was searching for hot chicks in the bar or in the stands on TV. Unsuccessful on both fronts. The only thing I succeeded in doing was dropping a deuce in the bathroom before we left. I wanted to hold it in until we got home, but I had a turtle head sticking out since halftime and I couldn't hold on any longer. We left the bar and went to get Pho before heading home and crashing for the evening.
Friday 1/2/09 - I woke up really early because someone had to fuckin work that day. That SOMEONE was me. So I went to work completely exhausted from drinking for the last 3 days and somehow I actually banged out a bunch of work. Popped into the gym after work, got through a weak workout, then headed home and proclaimed that I would not be drinking or going out that night. And of course, neither of those things happened. Apparently, it ended up being a friend's birthday that night so guess where we went? Yup, Foxy Lady. We decided to "take it easy" that night by only going to the Brockton location instead of making the trek to Providence. The night can be summarized like this: booze, tits, booze, tits, booze, tits, booze, tits. It's very nice inside this place, definitely not a dump. This place could pass as a restaurant if they rearranged it a little bit, and by "rearrange" I mean "remove the stripper poles". Anyway, as far as the entertainment was concerned, they had this cool promotion there where you can get a 2 for 1 lap dance and a t-shirt during certain times of the night. Our group left with a lot of new t-shirts.

Saturday 1/3/09 - Rolled outta bed around 11ish and somehow gathered enough strength and motivation to go to the gym with Jon and Balco. Ran into a bunch of Waltham heads there and played some hoop until I wanted to puke, then did a quick lifting workout and got the F outta there. We then completely wasted everything we worked out for by eating a massive meal at Burger King on the way home. I decided to lay down for the rest of the afternoon, watching college basketball and playoff NFL football. I ended up going to Blue 22 that night (which resulted in the first image of this blog) and proceeded to DRINK AGAIN! For the umpteenth time, I AM AN IDIOT. I am clearly a social alcoholic. Had another 20+ drinks that night, got shitcanned and made my way home somehow. Drinking this much is clearly not a good idea considering I am taking supplements that already dehydrate me to begin with.

Sunday 1/4/09 - My cousin Rob called me that morning to meet up for lunch, so I rallied the troops and we ended up having about 9 people go to Hai La Moon for dim sum. Nothing really to talk about here other than the fact that my Dad showed up, ate, then left without paying in what is referred to as the "chew n screw". I applauded that move. After dim sum, a few of us headed back to my place to play an intense hour of Red Sox Jenga, which consisted of red blocks and blue blocks. Basically, it's like regular Jenga except you roll a dice that has different baseball terms on it which indicate what move you're supposed to make. For example, if you rolled "RBI", it means you had to remove a red block. If you rolled a "Walk", you had to remove a blue block, and so on and so forth. Since I am the epitome of 'calm under pressure', I was the only one who didn't knock the Jenga tower over. We actually had someone knock the tower over on the first pull and she wasn't even drunk. That takes skill.

After Jenga time, I watched football and then headed over to Maggiano's at 4pm for family dinner. By family dinner, I don't mean just my immediate family. We had 25 fuckin people there. We put the Last Supper to shame with this one. My Mom organized the whole thing, which consisted of tons of wine, calamari, stuffed mushrooms, and two types of salad for the appetizer, chicken piccata, salmon, mashed potatoes, and spinach for the main course, and profiteroles and tiramisu for dessert. Did I mention that all of these dishes were BOTTOMLESS. This means that they would keep bringing more and more as long as we kept finishing the plates. I don't know, I felt like I had to explain that since people might misconstrue the term 'bottomless' as a sexual connotation. Well if you need your sexual fix, get this. The girls at the Foxy Lady on Friday night were BOTTOMLESS. There ya go.

Somehow this dinner lasted 4 hours. I don't even know how that's possible, but it happened. It was so long that I managed to take 3 shits in the restaurant during dinner. I only mention this because one of the times I went into the bathroom, a big black guy walks out of the stall and goes "you ain't gonna want to go in there for awhile", smiles, washes his hands, then leaves. I tried waiting to let the bathroom air out, but it got to the point where I had to go in there to crap. I walked into the stall and the stench hit me like a right uppercut. I had to pull my shirt over my head just to neutralize it a little bit. This is my life.

So I FINALLY got home close to 9pm, showered (I had to considering I was sweating from eating and my ass was dirty), and immediately laid down and passed out.

Other news:

• The video section is now full of clips from Wedding Crashers. I chose that feed because not only are the clips hilarious, but my cousin Cynthia is getting married this weekend so I thought there were some parallels here.
• I'm watching the Celtics game right now and somehow we're in overtime versus the Bobcats. What the fuck is going on here? We should be dominating these peons.
• I'm going to the Celtics vs. Rockets game tomorrow night. The Celtics better fuckin win. I'm sick of all of these losses to shitty teams. By shitty teams, I mean "any team other than the Celtics".
• The Bruins have lost 2 in a row. The ship is sinking!!!!!!!!!!!
• Yesterday was the 89th anniversary of the Red Sox selling Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Good move guys. Coincidentally, today was the first day Mark Teixeira was officially announced as a Yankee. They're not winning shit this year. They have no chemistry. Next year they'll be dangerous though.
• Looks like the Patriots are gonna franchise Matt Cassel, which means that they'll be paying him about $14 million next year. I think that this is a good backup plan in case Brady doesn't come back at full strength. If Brady does, the Patriots can always trade Cassel. That wouldn't be a problem since so many other teams are looking for a competent QB.
• The Celtics just lost to the Bobcats. Please light me on fire.
  
• I need a haircut. Look at the picture below.

BARBARIC!

2009 is here!