Told you it would be the last positive Yankee comment...

Wow, talk about major league baseball absolutely sucking Mark Teixeira's dick. It just so happens that Kevin Youkilis regained the lead in the All Star voting for first baseman according to the most recent update, and what does MLB.com do today? Yup, they get Mark Teixeira himself to be a guest on the site to do an online chat with the fans. And it just so happens that fan voting ends in 2 days. I don't know about you, but this clearly stinks of a push by MLB to get fans to vote for him. I mean, c'mon, it's the first story on the MLB homepage right now:

Click on image to view larger.

And this is the screen you get when you click into the page:

Click on image to view larger.

Seriously, this is a pretty fuckin pathetic attempt by major league baseball to brand Mark Teixeira into one of the game's biggest stars. I mean, yeah, he's pretty good, but let's stop sucking his dick already. Here's the link to the page where I took the second screen cap.

And here's the chat archive page link. Take a look at the other potential all star candidate that chatted on May 27th. What a coincedence! It was Ian Kinsler, the guy who's in a close race with Dustin Pedroia for the starting second base position in the All Star game. It looks like Kinsler had a pretty big lead (over 50,000 votes) about a month ago (coincedentally right after his mlb.com chat), but now Pedroia has caught up and is now only about 7,000 votes behind.

I'm claiming shenanigans as MLB clearly has had enough with the influence of Red Sox Nation. If neither Youk or Pedroia are starting in the All Star game, this will be BS.

Papelbon ties save mark

In case you didn't know, last night Jonathan Papelbon tied Bob Stanley's team record for saves, notching his 132nd save in a Red Sox uniform on just three pitches. That's sort of misleading since it was only a one out save haha. Well anyway, it's nice to see that we still have him under control after this season (2 more arbitration years). After that, he's going to the highest bidder and everyone knows it'll be the Yankees because the Sandman might retire by then.

He might be a tool, but he's OUR tool. For now...

Speaking of Mariano Rivera and speaking of saves, I'm not too much of a Red Sox homer to give props to a Yankee when props is due. Sunday night, the man known as the "Hammer of God, Mo, Sandman (as noted above) and The Panama Express" notched his 500th career save, which puts him in 2nd place all time behind Trevor Hoffman who has 571 saves. Pretty impressive, especially considering he has saved 89.1% of his save opportunities. Hoffman has saved 89.4% of his career save opportunities, but Hoffman has also played for 17 seasons, whereas Mo has played 15 seasons. I'm pretty sure that if they end up playing the same number of seasons, Mariano will be the all time saves leader. I'm okay with that.

Look at the butt on that. Yeah, he must work out.

I'm also okay with the fact that he has blown 12 saves (out of 56 chances) against the Red Sox, giving him a career save percentage of 79% against us. He blew 2 saves in a row in the 2004 ALCS (I was at Game 5), so thanks for helping us win the World Series that year. He also blew the save in the first meeting between the Sox/Yanks this season (I was also at that game) which set the stage for a current win total this season of: Red Sox 8, Yankees 0. At the end of the season, I can see the record evening out a bit though and I'll say that out of the 19 meetings, it'll be the Sox with 12 wins and the Yankees with 7.

So I'd like to celebrate two closers today. One up and coming potential star (Papelbon) and one surefire Hall of Famer (Rivera), who just happen to be polar opposites in terms of personality, but equals (so far) in terms of effectiveness. If you don't think they've both been equally effective, Papelbon has saved 132 out of 148 chances, giving him a save percentage of 89.2%. As a reminder, Rivera's career save percentage is 89.1%. And if Dodson is reading this, I'm not saying that Jonathan Papelbon is as good as Mariano Rivera since Rivera is a proven veteran and Papelbon is still relatively new. But the numbers are interesting thus far.

This is probably the last time anything (somewhat) positive will be written about a Yankee.

USA! USA! USA!

We did it!!!!!

Congratulations on the United States for winning the Confederations Cup! This is a historic day for soccer in a country where soccer isn't even regarded as a major sport even though it's the number one sport in the world. Finally, we are on the map and proving that we can compete with the likes of Spain and Brazil. All of those years I played soccer in high school really helped me appreciate what an accomplishment this was. I am so proud to be from the United States!!!

Oh shit! What? We fuckin lost? Didn't we have a 2-0 lead at halftime? Isn't that like having a 20 point lead in basketball going into the 4th quarter, where all you have to do is play tight defense and mount little spurts of offense to seal the game? Wow, what a kick in the nuts this was for US soccer. Coming off a statement game (beating Spain in the semifinals), the US did have a lot of momentum and confidence against Brazil, even though Brazil spanked them 3-0 about 2 weeks ago. So things really looked bright when we, not only went up 1-0 on a Dempsey score, but 2-0 on Donovan's goal. At that point you gotta think "wow, this one is in the bag" because it usually is.

2nd Place is the first loser.

Well, not to be outdone by the Washington Nationals bullpen, the US then promptly started blowing the lead by allowing a goal 1 minute into the second half. Talk about momentum killer. This then led to the US team playing tentative the rest of the half, while Brazil was on the attack from the outset. As soon as Brazil scored the equalizer in the 73th minute, you knew it was over. The US team had the "Manning Face" at that point and it showed when Brazil scored again in the 83th minute to put the game away. Oh well, nice try team USA. You made it further than anyone thought you were going to make it anyway.

We lost to a team who has a guy named "Kaka".

To be fair though, these guys from other countries have been playing this shit all their lives and will probably get murdered if they don't win anything. And that's why I'm proud to be from the good ole U-S of A.

King of Pop: Dead at 50

Apparently, people are stunned that Michael Jackson just died. I mean, c'mon, it's a sad day but in all seriousness I'm surprised he even lasted this long. This guy has been on the ropes for like the last 20 years. Changing from a black guy to a white guy, getting a new nose, and doing all that other plastic surgery can not be good for your body. So when someone told me about his death yesterday, I didn't even flinch. Not that I'm inconsiderate or anything, but it just didn't faze me.

Now this isn't a post to knock on MJ. He really was the king of pop, an ultra talented musician who made classic after classic. He will, hopefully, be remembered more for his music than for troubles in his personal life (ie. touching little boys). I remember watching the Thriller music video over and over again when I was younger because it was the coolest fuckin music video (not only at that time, but ever). I also remember played Michael Jackson: Moonwalker, which was a video game for Sega Genesis. Check out the irony here as the mission was to save little boys and girls...



Remember back in the day when everyone was trying to do the moonwalk? Dude was the best dancer ever. R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

P.S. I'm not sure if this is in poor taste but since Michael Jackson is back in the news, it reminded me of this joke:

Question: Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?

wait for it...


wait for it...


wait for it...


Answer: Because he heard that boys' undies were half-off.

Some quick updates

Tonight, we have the NBA Draft, which doesn't really mean shit for Celtics fans since we have the 58th overall pick (out of a total of 60 picks). It doesn't really matter though because this draft class is supposed to be weaker than Simona Halep's bra (see below)

Look at the fun bags on that hose hound.

I highly doubt there's going to be any trading involving the Celtics, but I'm interested in seeing how other teams are affected. Or maybe I just want to play the NBA Draft drinking game.

A lot of stuff happened yesterday:

• It looks like Shaq got traded to the Cavs and apparently he found out through Twitter. They're still not winning shit with him. The only thing he'll provide is defense and Cleveland already had a good defense. They needed a transition big man, someone like Chris Bosh, to contend for a title next season. Oh well, at least they have another big name to blame when they lose in the playoffs next season...
  
  
• The US somehow beat Spain in the semifinals of the Confederation Cup. Apparently, it was some huge upset since Spain had won 15 in a row and were undefeated in 35 straight matches or something like that. All I can say is: GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
  
  
• LSU won the College World Series by spanking Texas 11-4. If you saw the quality of the chicks in the stands, it's safe to say that there were no real losers here.
  
  
• Tommy Haas took out the ball girl at Wimbledon. Whoever said tennis wasn't a contact sport?!?!?!
  

I love how the first announcer wonders if Tommy Haas is alright before even acknowledging the ball girl who got DRILLED. High comedy.

We are not trading Rondo

Straight from the horse's mouth: Here is the article about the Celtics trade rumors.

Danny Ainge, the Boston Celtics president of basketball operations, denied rumors that he is trying to deal Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen before Thursday's NBA Draft, the Boston Globe reported.

Ainge told the Globe he expects the team to have the same starting five next season.

"We love Rajon,'' Ainge said. "I think everybody knows how good of a player he is and what sort of a bright future he has. It's amazing, I hope each one of you can maintain your integrity through this world of media that we live in — it doesn't even seem like you have to have any kind of source anymore, you just write stuff and print stuff, and things can just come out of the air.

"It's a little bit frustrating sometimes, because I've got to manage those players. And their agents, and their mothers, and their wives, and, in some cases, their children. But the one thing I can assure you, I will never sit up here and say there is any player that is untradeable, ever.

"But the notion that we might be trading [Rondo] because of his contract situation, I've heard speculation, or that we're dissatisfied with him, or his attitude. I mean, that stuff is so false. He showed up late for a playoff game, so we're going to trade him - none of those things are true.''

There are rumors that the Celtics offered Rondo and Ray Allen to the Pistons for Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince and Rodney Stuckey. While I don't think they actually offered a trade, I do think that they were floating it out there to gauge their value in the open market. And if so, who the F cares? Every team does that in the offseason. You listen to and evaluate every offer possible to see if you can improve your team, not only now, but also in the long run. You'd be an idiot if you didn't listen to trade requests and float out possible scenarios to gather information.

I also heard of a possible trade with Phoenix with us giving up Rondo and Ray Allen for Amare Stoudemire and Barbosa. Again, just rumors, and it was denied by Phoenix's GM as soon as it was reported.

So people, stop freaking out because trade rumors are trade rumors. Until I see Rondo and/or Ray Allen at an introductory press conference for another team, I ain't gonna believe shit. It's all strategery.

Perez Hilton is not gay or anything...

If you have 10-15 minutes to spare, watch the 2 videos below. Apparently, Perez Hilton is some flamboyantly gay gossip columnist (aren't they all?) who is claiming he was assaulted by the tour manager of the Black Eyed Peas after some music awards show in Toronto a couple days ago. Anyway, these videos are high comedy. FYI, it starts off a little slow, but there is some massive payoff if you are patient enough to watch it all.

Part 1

Part 2

I'm sure that Will.I.Am from Black Eyed Peas is really intimidated by this hahaha.


This dude definitely got his face in a BOOM BOOM POW situation.

The best part about this whole story is that instead of calling the police, he posted a message on Twitter first (as if the Police are subscribed to his Twitter account). What a tool.

Click on the picture to read this ridiculousness.

C'mon dude, no one is gonna believe this shit. Stop looking for attention. You are setting gay people back 50 years.

Click on the picture and read the highlighted text.

It's people like this that deserve to die. Not because he's gay, but because he's a fuckin idiot.

Which is more digusting?

The shit on Steve-O's face?

Or this bitch who looks like him????

Please vote on the poll in the top right.

Quick update: According to last week's poll, it looks like the people have spoken and Person B is the bigger A-hole! But Person A did come in strong with a 30% A-hole vote, so that should also be noted. Congratulations to both of you.

FML

Have any of you ever gone to fmylife.com? Well, according to their site:

Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML". On top of being a huge release for the person telling their story, delightfully proving that "fuck ups" happen to everybody every day, fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that self deprecation and a sense of irony are essential!

Here's an example of a post:

Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

Now as you peruse the site, you're probably assuming (like I have) that some of the posts are real, but most of them are fake. To be honest, I could give two shits about whether or not they are real. All that matters is that they are funny.

Well this brings me to a story about a friend of mine who had a real FML moment. Here's what happened. My friend had 4 tickets to a Red Sox / Yankees game so he decided to ask this girl he is interested in if she would like to accompany him. She said sure and asked if she could bring her friend. So my buddy is thinking "great, I got 2 girls and me, now I just need someone else to go". Naturally, he asks me because I am a huge Red Sox fan and one of his good friends. I tell him of course I'd go. I mean, c'mon, it's a Sox / Yanks game and there's gonna be 2 chicks there. No brainer.

Guess what happens? Me and my buddy arrive at the game, get some beers and sit in our seats. Then, in the middle of the first inning, this chick shows up with her friend. Unfortunately for my friend (and I guess for me too), that "friend" happened to be her BOYFRIEND. So throughout the game, my buddy had to sit there and watch the girl he invited flirting with her boyfriend, while I sat there drinking beers and giggling at what just happened. Fortunately for all my readers, the story doesn't end here. See below for the best picture ever:

This is an actual picture of my friend wearing the shirt his co-workers bought for him after he told them his story. And I am happy to share this with you all.

Have a nice weekend.

The Red Sox celebrate their 500th straight sellout

Kind of hard to see, but "500" was mowed into the lawn.

The Red Sox have now sold out 500 straight games at Fenway Park. Quite an accomplishment if you think about it, especially since the economy is crappier than my toilet the morning after a night of drinking. Did you know that Terry Francona has not managed a game at Fenway Park that WASN'T a sellout? Pretty impressive, but not that surprising considering the loyalty of Boston sports fans. Last year, we broke the record for consecutive sellouts (held by Cleveland at 455 straight sellouts) and the milestones just keep continuing. Unlike Cal Ripken Jr., who eventually took a day off after breaking the consecutive games played streak, I would love to see Red Sox Nation do the unthinkable and record 1,000 straight sellouts, and more. According to my math, that would happen on... fuck it, I'm not doing the math, but it'd be a ridiculous record to post. Let's just keep selling out Fenway until I die.

“It’s remarkable,’’ owner John Henry wrote in an e-mail. “There is a love associated with this franchise that transcends sports. The great thing about following a baseball team very closely is that it’s an everyday pursuit. We follow all of our own personal stories day to day - our kids, our spouses, this baseball team - there is a continuity of hopes, surprises, joy - all the daily ups and downs of the Red Sox provide a backdrop that is often a respite or enhancement for everything in the foreground.

“That these fans have packed Fenway 500 straight times without exception is not just a record book entry, it is an affair of the heart that can be seen on the faces of fans every magical night - rain or shine. We’re all lucky to have been a part of it.’’

- Courtesy of Boston.com

As cookie-cutter as that statement sounds, it's really true. Baseball in Boston is not only just a part of our daily activities, it's a way of life. We, as fans, live and die on the fortunes (or misfortunes) of this team. Unlike football, basketball, and hockey where there are specific seasons to focus on the Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins, there is no offseason for the Red Sox. They play April to September (and hopefully, October/November) and once the season ends it's time for the winter meetings followed by spring training. There is no downtime if you are a Red Sox fan, and there never will be.

Here's the commemorative ball given out last night.

That's probably why fans from other cities consider us as being insufferable and overreactive. They just don't understand the passion, knowledge, dedication and dare I say "insanity" of Red Sox Nation. For fans of most cities, going to a baseball game is just another event to attend for fun. Here, going to a Sox game is a privilege and a being a true member of the Nation is a rite of passage.

So, really, this is a testament to the fans. The fans are the reason why there are 500 consecutive sellouts (obviously) and the fans are the reason why Boston is the best sports town in the country. I've been to a bunch of different ballparks and the atmosphere and environment has never even come close to rivaling that of Fenway. And it never will.

To the fans: may the streak continue, may your loyalty stay true, and may you lead us to another championship in the near future because truly, you are the lifeline of this team.

Let's go Red Sox!

Lou Pinella is funny

Just watch this...



How could you not tell the difference between steroids and weed? I love this guy.

Drama in work league soccer

I was talking to one of my buddies online and he decided to send me this little gem. Apparently, there is a work soccer league and one of the guys in the league (from another company) is a gigantic pussy (for the purpose of this blog, we'll call him "Sissy"). Here's the original email he sent to the captain of the other team on Wednesday, June 10th:

Just want to share my pain with you and hope we have more fun playing in the future.

In the first minutes of the game one of your player (a young guy with blue short) banged his knee to my thigh to pass me defending him and it was so hard that I was out for 15 minutes.
Consider that I had pad for protecting my thigh, plus that I’m well trained and playing soccer on regular basis that was so painful that I was not able to sleep even after taking two Advil’s and I have hard time to walk now.

I brought this to the player’s attention after the game, but surprisingly he was not aware of it.
This was a fault … and nobody called it.

I hope in the future
1- we avoid this type of contact
2- we have more control and be more aware of what we are doing.
I’m not telling it was intentional and I hope nobody in our league has any intention as such.

Let’s be more careful and make the game a fun for everybody according to our constitution.

Thanks,
Sissy

We can conclude 3 things from this email:

1. This guy is a huge pussy.
2. This guy was not born in the US based on his grammar.
3. This guy is a snitch.

So it appears that the captain either did not take him seriously or didn't give a shit because he didn't respond to this ridiculousness. This led to "Sissy" sending the following email to ALL OF THE CAPTAINS in the soccer league. Fortunately for us, my buddy happens to be one of those other captains. Here is the second email sent:

Captains, I send the following email to the team we played last week regarding my injury and my intention was to remind you to play safely and responsibly and avoid any dangerous play.

Unfortunately, till now, I have not received any reply to my email which I wonder how I should interpret it.?????

Please talk to your team members and remind them that there is no world –level recognition for this games.

Thanks,
Sissy

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present to you our nominee for PUSSY OF THE YEAR! Dude, seriously. Grow some fucking nuts. In these work leagues, you police yourselves, so if you get fouled, call a foul. Don't bitch about it later like a little girl.

So what do you guys think? Let me know in the comments section.

Also, reminder that there's only a couple days left to vote on Who is the Bigger A-Hole (see poll in top right of blog).

The Lakers just raped Orlando

This girl is disgusting.

Did the title of my blog post offend people? Well, if it didn't, it should have. That's because I'm offended by it as well. I'm offended by the fact that a guy who rapes chicks (see above photo) is celebrated by the media and his fans as being a "hero", a "superstar", and someone who is "driven". Well, I'll concede that he's driven. He's driven to rape bitches and get away with it.

This just in: after the Lakers won the championship, Kobe was interviewed and instead of saying he was going to Disney World, he indicated that he was so happy that he was going to go to Colorado to rape as many girls as he could.

So here's to the Lakers! First team to win a championship with a rapist and a guy who looks like a fuckin Llama...

And yes, I'm still bitter because the Spanish basketball team is a bunch of racists.

Wow, that went South quickly...

*Alright some people have assumed that I'm one of these people mentioned below. For the record, I am neither Person A nor Person B, nor am I the mutual friend in the story. I am just reporting the exchange as Person A was kind enough to send me the email string. Thank you.*


Please vote on who is the bigger A-hole in this situation (Person A or Person B). Use the poll on the top right to vote. Thanks.

Okay so here is some background information. Person A is trying to sell tickets to the Red Sox/Yankees game on June 11th and sends out the following email on June 1st (10 days before the game):

Person A: I'm selling tickets to upcoming Red Sox games. Please let me know if you or anyone you know is interested. First come first served! Thanks!

Thursday, June 11 @ 710pm
New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox
Bleachers Section 37
Row 26
2 tickets for $200 or 4 tickets for $400

Apparently, Person B (through a mutual friend) responds that he will take 2 of the tickets so he and the mutual friend can go to the game. Please note that Person B is also Person A's friend. Please also note that it's pretty obvious that Bleacher seats are not $100 face value so Person B should know what he is getting into.

Fast forward to yesterday (the day of the game). Person B sends this email to Person A:

Person B: Hey Person A, I was just taking a look at the tix this morning on my way out the door and saw they're $26 each. Think you can be a little reasonable on the price...quadrupling your money on us seems excessive. I understand this is your thing and you've gotta make some money on them, but quadruple? Could you double your money and be happy?

Please keep in mind that this is the MORNING OF THE GAME, so it'd be hard for Person A to sell off the tickets if Person B re-negs on the deal. Person A responds with:

Person A: truthfully speaking, my price is very reasonable for sox/yankees tix since it's a rivalry game. i had these tickets listed online and took them down when (mutual friend) emailed me saying you guys wanted the tix. i make most of my money back by selling tix to the big games (ie. Sox/Yankees, summer weekend games, and playoff games) so when i send out a mass email with prices and seat info its so that everyone knows exactly what they are buying.

Sounds reasonable. Person B responds with this gem:

Person B: i hear you. i didnt realize the tix were from you, thought they were from (mutual friend's) work at face value, as he occassionally gets offered and forwards me...otherwise i would have done a little homework if i had any thought i was going to be price gouged. so def my bad on not doing my homework. u'll get ur full quadrupled price. can you give me an address where to mail the check? by the way, for disclosure purposes so it's clear, there's now a $50 entry fee anytime u enter my apartment and beers will be $5 each. but u shouldnt have to worry about it b/c u might as well delete my phone number and email address since i dont consider assholes my friends. this is me speaking, nothing to do with (mutual friend)

So here is the question: Who is the bigger A-hole?

• Is it Person A for selling tickets at quadruple face value to a friend, even though the price was clearly established beforehand?
• Or is it Person B for getting all upset and handcuffing Person A the day of the game?

For the record, Person B and mutual friend did end up going to the game last night, and frankly, it was probably worth 100 bucks haha.


Please vote on the poll on the right, thank you!!

Which song is better?

Song is "Knock You Down" by Keri Hilson featuring Kanye and Ne-Yo

Original:



Here is the cover:



I'm voting for the acoustic cover version. Still, both songs are solid.

People from Orlando are ugly

Wow, these people look pretty pumped to be at a Finals game. Is it possible for both the Magic AND the Lakers to lose?

Is this going to happen again this year?

Farts are funny

Thought of the day...

I'm currently talking to big Frank on google chat and we're talking about injuries in sports, in this specific case, baseball. Frank has tickets to next week's Red Sox - Marlins game and was wondering if Hanley Ramirez was going to be playing. I did a little research and noticed that's he's been playing recently with a nagging groin injury. He's been battling through it, even though his performance has been suffering a bit, but at the end of the day he's still doing an adequate job. But what if someone who was healthier replaced him? Would they be better or worse? I guess the answer depends on how good the next guy is. Does he have just as big of a bat or does he get on with weak dribblers? I mean, Hanley Ramirez is a top notch player, so you'd think that an injured Hanley is probably better than a healthy substitute.

So this got me to thinking about other physically demanding things as I wonder if the same questions arise. Naturally, this got me thinking about the porn industry. Let's say you have a guy like Peter North. We'll just say he's like a Hanley Ramirez of porn. He hits all bases, always gets to home, and is a huge threat to demoralize any challengers with a huge load from his big bat. So what happens if he gets diagnosed with a "groin" injury? Does he play through it? Does he sit out and have someone replace him? I mean c'mon, the porn industry is an ever changing and rapidly moving business. They don't have time to wait for Mr. North to fully recuperate before filming the next threesome, gangbang, or all-anal scene. So let's ANALyze this. If he continues to play (bang chicks on film) with his injured groin, he might injure it further or his performance may not be as good. However, if he doesn't play at all and let's someone else replace him, then the fans (people who buy porn) will not cum out to see him (purchase the videos) and his team (whatever porn agency he films for) ends up losing money.

Hanley busting a load on an unsuspecting victim.

This can be compared to the Marlins because if Hanley doesn't play, who's gonna go watch the games? Few, if any. And there goes your whole business model. So at the end of the day, I applaud Hanley Ramirez for playing through the pain and giving his fans something to cheer for. So here's to you Hanley Ramirez: no matter how injured you are, you're still dropping loads!

Thank you Rodney Harrison

Well, it looks like Rodney Harrison just announced his retirement. One of the hardest hitters the game has ever seen, he truly portrayed the Patriot way. The people who say he played dirty were just a bunch of pussies.


Here's to you Rodney. May the future be bright in whatever you do (broadcasting, officiating). Thank you for your service to Patriot Nation.

Finally an update

Yeah, I know. I've been slacking here. Sorry, I'm lazy.


Anyway, I just had a pretty solid weekend. Friday consisted of me going to work, going to the gym, eating dinner, and then going to sleep at around 10:30PM. Damn that was exciting. Well good thing I did that because Saturday was a complete shit show.

I woke up around 7AM Saturday morning, watched TV for a little bit, then headed over to big Ed Silva's place to pick him up for a round of golf. We ended up playing at the 9-hole Lakeview golf course in Wenham with Lucia and his friend Kirk. The conditions were pretty horrible due to the rain the night before. Started off my day by shooting an 8 on the par 4 first hole, which was then followed by a 7 on the par 3 second hole. Nice start, 8 over par after 2 holes. However, I was able to settle down and had a 5-hole run of bogey, bogey, par, par, bogey. I ended up shooting a 46 which was 15 over par, but not too bad considering I was 8 over par after the first 2 holes. So essentially, I played bogey golf for the remaining 7.


After golfing, I dropped off Ed and Lucia and headed back to Boston to shower and grab some lunch with Steve-O. We went to Jacob Wirth on Kneeland Street for some outdoor eats and had some fruitbag drinks. I think Steve-O had a couple Mai Tais and I had something called the Malibu Rum Runner (insert gay jokes here). The good thing about eating outside is that you can check out chicks as they walk by while eating your meal. I guess this is why people eat on Newbury Street.

Once we had a decent buzz going, we then headed over to my hometown of Stoneham for some horseshoes and baggo (cornhole, sac blaster, teabag, whatever you want to call it). The occasion was for pregame festivities since a bunch of people were going to the Dave Matthews Band concert at Fenway Park that evening. Naturally, everyone was getting blasted the entire time so it made the afternoon even more enjoyable. Thanks Prev for having us over.

Baggo, make sure you get your sac in the hole!

After four hours of playing horseshoes and baggo, everyone bounced their separate ways, some to the concert, some to other parties, etc. Me and Steve-O went to eat subs since we had the drunken munchies. I got back home around 7:30, just in time for my roommate and his friend to start drinking for the evening. And of course, I continued drinking. Once they left, I was pumped because I could just pass out and call it a night.

That was until I remembered that Big Wil was coming by to pregame since I agreed to go to the club with him, Anne and Kevin. Next thing I know, they walk into my place with beer, hard liquor, and mixers. By this point, I'm so tired that I need a jumpstart. So I have Anne make me a mixed drink with Monster energy drink in it. After a couple of those, a couple of vodka shots and I think some henny, we headed out.

We ended up going to Pearl, which is a club I hadn't been to in about 3 years. It was literally ALL Asian in there. I wasn't sure if I was still in Boston or if we somehow ended up in Hong Kong. Anyway, we met up with a few of Kevin's muscle friends and I was forced to take like 20 pictures with them, with all sorts of poses and shit. I just stood there with a "why am I in this picture?" look on my face. I'm pretty sure those pics are going to be loaded up onto Facebook sometime soon and I'm not very excited about it.

I started drinking tons of red bull and vodkas to keep myself awake and before I knew it, I was pretty drunk again. One of the guys, Julio, wanted to hit up on 2 chicks, so I agreed to be wingman. He started dancing with this one tiny chick and I danced with her friend. After awhile, we decided to switch and I got the tiny chick. BIG MISTAKE. This girl was the worst dancer I've ever seen in my entire life. The DJ played a smooth hip hop "you can grind to this" type of song and she started shaking her hips violently like she was doing the hula-hoop. No rhythm at all. So I'm standing there with a "what the fuck are you doing?" look on my face and she just continues doing that. I stepped in and tried to slow her down to get her to rock to the beat but it just wasn't happening. After a few minutes of this I couldn't take it anymore so I excused myself and went to the bar.

This is how she danced...

The rest of the time at the club was mostly a blur. Danced for awhile, kept drinking, met a few people, etc. After the club, I peaced out Big Wil and crew and headed over to meet up with Steve-O and the snowboard people. We ended up eating at New Moon Villa. I met a couple new girls at the table, but I was way too tired to pull any game. I ate about 3 pieces of food, tossed some loot on the table, and told everyone I was going home. At this point, I had been drinking for 15 straight hours.

So I made it home, Superman dove into bed and passed out at around 4AM.

Unfortunately, I had to wake up at 9AM for softball, FML. We ended up winning 19-9, the team was functioning on all cylinders and then I came back home and slept the entire afternoon away. This is my life.